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Dick Tracy, 5/24/14

About a year ago I wrote a review for Bookforum of a couple of books about political cartooning, including a profusely illustrated biography of Thomas Nast, and hey, do you know who Thomas Nast really disliked? The Irish! One of the interesting things about seeing Nast’s old cartoons is getting a look at a whole style of racial caricature that’s fallen more or less completely out of use, though the similarly Celtic Scot Tabby Angus seems to carry just a hint of it in his character design. Anyway, big thanks to today’s cartoon for familiarizing me with the term cailleach, which, according to Wikipedia, is an Irish or Scottish mythological being who is “a divine hag, a creatrix, and possibly an ancestral deity or deified ancestor.” Since this is Gravel Gertie we’re talking about, who gave birth to some terrifying nightmare-thing we still haven’t gotten a good look at, I’d say that’s a pretty good description.

Family Circus, 5/24/14

Daddy looks pleased with Dolly’s playtime plans. With her urge to force a diverse range of creatures into the uniform and soul-numbing world of white-collar work, she’s perfect for middle management! At least one Keane Kid isn’t going to keep moving back home well into their 30s.

Better Half, 5/24/14

It’s too bad that the Better Half is a one-panel cartoon, because if we had panel after panel of this poor cashier forcing pizza down his gullet, chewing with grim determination, because he’s not hungry, but Stanley got the diet pizza, and a job is a job, and the two of them stare at each other in blank, expressionless silence, then I’d be an extremely happy guy.

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Dick Tracy, 5/8/14

Bored with getting into gruesome shootouts with human suspects who all sadly end up dead before they can be arrested and stand trial, Dick Tracy is going to see what it’s like to shoot a horse for resisting arrest.

Mark Trail, 5/8/14

Mark Trail is in newspapers everywhere walking around with no shirt on, which seems like it should be at least as big a news story as this missing plane thing.

Beetle Bailey, 5/8/14

Beetle has a pretty bad bed-wetting problem, apparently.

Apartment 3-G, 5/8/14

ARISTOTLE PAPAGORAS, PROFESSIONAL AND ACCREDITED THERAPIST, EVERYBODY

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Mary Worth, 4/15/14

Last week Wilbur urged Iris to apply tough love to her layabout drug dealing son who may or may not be working hard to find a job (a task which, for the record, is often quite difficult for ex-cons), and she blew up at him about it, putting Wilbur’s sad love life in jeopardy. But ever since then, Iris has been musing about whether maybe she should be harder on Tommy. And who’s there to swoop in and catch her at the moment she’s ready to speak these uncomfortable truths aloud? Wilbur? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s Mary. Mary’s been watching her from afar all this time, patiently waiting for the moment when Iris is ready to split at the seams, when she can turn Iris to her way of thinking with just an innocent, nonspecific question. This right here is a meddling master class. Run along and write your little advice column, Wilbur; the pros are working here.

Dick Tracy, 4/15/14

So God bless the new Dick Tracy creative team for the great art and reverence for comics history and all, but sometimes the plot gets so reverent of comics history that it’s literally impossible for anyone but comics obsessives to follow. At the moment, for instance, the strip is switching back and forth between what appears to be a search for Little Orphan Annie, a followup to an earlier plotline that references characters and scenarios from the strip’s loopy sci-fi era of the 1960s and 1970s, and a fictionalized take on intra-comics industry feuding that started in 1942. Anyway, I’m just glad today’s strip sticks to the core Dick Tracy brand of Dick being a remorseless killer. “Soooo … these guys went out into deep space and … probably suffocated in terror?” “It looks that way, Diet,” Dick nods, satisfied.

Six Chix, 4/15/14

Six Chix appears to be using the week leading up to Easter to feature a a series cartoons about the birth and death of bunnies, with each strip guaranteed to disturb and unsettle! Anyway, all I’m going to do with this one is give you the phrase “rabbit cloaca” and rest easy in the knowledge that you won’t be able to extract it from your mind for days.

Beetle Bailey, 4/15/14

I spent a long time staring at this Beetle Bailey cartoon and trying to figure out what it meant. Then I realized I should follow Plato’s lead, which is to say: recognize it as inane nonsense, and wander off to find something better to do.