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Archive: Dick Tracy

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Actually, internment camps for freedom are exactly what I’d expect in Dick Tracy

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Heathcliff, 1/18/13

I am seriously puzzled about just what exactly Heathcliff’s puppet-thing is supposed to be. The holes (or are they just black dots?) and the general shape and the proximity to mice remind me of a stereotypical wedge of cartoon Swiss cheese that the colorists have misjudged into greenness. But perhaps not? Maybe it’s some sort of weird makeshift sponge-puppet? I’m a little resentful about the ambiguity, because it’s distracting me from the delightful main point of the strip, which is that Heathcliff rules the local mice as a brutal dictator, demanding not just that they obey him in deed, but that they love him, deep in their souls. Heathcliff’s second-rate ventriloquist antics are in fact an elaborate test of loyalty. The two unhappy mice in the back of the queue here will soon be reported by informers to his brutal Happiness Police.

Judge Parker, 1/18/13

Judge Parker’s seems to be on the verge of a new plot that will test the philosophical boundaries of its own fictional universe. Specifically, it will answer the question we’ve all wondered about: is there a sum of money so large that it can, when spent, actually have a noticeable effect on the balance sheet of the Spencer-Driver clan? Keep in mind that Neddy, Sam and Abbey’s daughter, is a college student, and yet today’s strip reveals that she has her own private banker. One assumes that, in order for this to even get on her parents’ radar, these “large withdrawals” involved a fleet of armored trucks guarded by elite French special forces troops.

Dick Tracy, 1/18/13

Wow, it turns out I my interpretation of Lake Freedom’s significance was all wrong! Because it turns out that underneath Lake Freedom there’s an internment camp. That’s symbolism, guys, symbolism about America, really makes you think, hmm?

Spider-Man, 1/18/13

Sometimes conventional law enforcement in the Newspaper Spider-Man world is also super-incompetent, probably mostly to make Spidey feel better about himself.

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Get ready for … CAKEAGEDDON

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Mary Worth, 1/14/13

Could Dr. Jeff’s instincts about Mary’s platonic male cake-making partner have been right? If John’s really just a widowed amateur cakemaker, looking to win a contest and break into this high-pressure, rewarding world, then why is he rubbing his hands together and sneering like a supervillain in panel two? “I want to show you my design, Mary … it’s a giant laser, made entirely out of cake, and capable of destroying a city with a push of a button! Who’s just some retired innkeeper with a dumb William Powell mustache now, eh? Eh? MOO HA HA HA HA!”

Family Circus, 1/14/13

Good lord, this is one of the saddest Family Circuses I’ve ever seen. Dolly and Jeffy’s purposeful stride, Dolly’s narrowed eyes, and Grandma’s stricken expression pretty much make it clear that the Keane Kids simply walked out on their grandmother in mid-anecdote. “We get, it, Grandma, things were different when you were our age. How about telling us what things were like when you were old enough to be interesting but not old enough to be boring? What were the cool drugs? What famous dudes did you mess around with? Did you ever stab a man in self-defense, or for fun? We’ll be in the other room, watching TV and picking our noses, any time you want to come and get real with the reminiscing.”

Shoe, 1/14/13

Notice the contrast between Shoe and the Perfesser’s reactions in panel two. Shoe displays this strip’s Trademark Goggle Eyes Of Horror at hearing that Roz holds no strong opinion about a feature in his newspaper. He’s genuinely shocked that a citizen isn’t interested in the opportunity to make her opinions known to the world. The Perfesser, meanwhile, maintains his soul-numbed, heavy-lidded expression. He knows he works for a second-rate publication that’s part of a dying industry. He knows nobody cares about what he does and that once he dies his life’s body of work will be instantly forgotten. This is what the world has to offer. It is what he has come to expect.

Dick Tracy, 1/14/13

A metaphor for our fallen nation: now that “Lake Freedom” has been drained, we need some kind of elitist college professor just explain to us how to open a metal box. CAN YOU HEAR THE EAGLES WEEPING?

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Seriously, though, who would try to impersonate Stanley

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Better Half, 1/4/13

Here’s a fun fact, if by “fun” you mean “soul-shattering”: there is a rare condition called the Capgras delusion, in which the sufferer suddenly becomes convinced that a loved one — often a spouse or parent — has been replaced by an impostor. I’ve always been irrationally fearful of developing this myself, and have wondered if just knowing that the condition exists is enough to keep it at bay or at least understand what’s happening if it occurs, or if the delusion is so powerful that all rational thoughts flee your mind and your life becomes an unending paranoid horror. Anyway, Harriet seems to have been seized with this terrible mental illness and is demanding desperate measures to try to hold onto some tiny shred of reality, or maybe she’s just being extremely sarcastic how Stanley has become such an unattractive loser.

Dick Tracy, 1/4/13

Oops, I forgot to catch up on Christmas-week developments in Dick Tracy’s “costumed vigilante” plot, but I guess I don’t need to now because today’s strip provides a wall of text that gets us all pretty much up to date. Thanks, wall of text! I’m more concerned about that shadow lurking behind Dick, though, which may presage how he’ll adapt to the costumed chaos in his fair city. Has the new Dick Tracy creative team spent month meticulously recreating the classic vibe of the original strip, just so that they can abruptly turn it into a Batman comic when their editors stop paying attention to them?

Mary Worth, 1/4/13

Yup, those cake pics you’re looking at sure reflect the beauty of nature, Mr. Dill! With their … pink and white frosting … and garlands … and such. Yeah. Nature cakes. Hoo boy. This guy’s screwed. You’ve shackled yourself to a loser, Mary, do you hear me? A loser!

Curtis, 1/4/13

I was going to complain that this year’s Curtis Kwanzaa tale wasn’t insane enough, but that was before an adorable tiny primate stone cold stabbed a lady in the neck.