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Dustin, 5/1/23

A truly incredible thing to keep in mind about Dustin is that it’s a comic that debuted in January 2010, when, in the aftermath of the global financial crisis, unemployment was higher than it had been at any time since the Great Depression, and its whole deal was that college grads who had to move home because they couldn’t find jobs were just lazy, entitled brats whose problems were entirely a product of their bad character. It’s really only today, with joblessness at historic lows, that the times have caught up with the strip’s premise, although now the economic big brains are loudly proclaiming that we need more unemployment in order to fight inflation, so maybe Dustin needs to start arguing that actually, by being unemployable, he’s helping in macroeconomic terms.

Hi and Lois, 5/1/23

In other generational warfare news, Hi is a white-collar suburban dad in a legacy comic strip so he feels like he should be a Boomer, but based on the age of his kids he’s probably in his mid-to-late 40s, and, you know what, usually us Gen Xers are just glad to be noticed, but I’m sorry, I will not sit here and be lectured to by Chip fucking Flagston of all people.

The Lockhorns, 5/1/23

You ever have an older relative that you remember always “taking a nap on the couch” during family functions when you were a kid, and you only realized later probably hated big gatherings in their house and self-medicated by getting drunk? Well, in unrelated news, Leroy has “run out of gas” during Loretta’s attempt to share a pleasant afternoon with him.

Dick Tracy, 5/1/23

This sounds like a great way for the Red Cross to destroy its role as a neutral aid organization and ensure that no government ever gave them access to POWs ever again! On the other hand, do we know for sure they didn’t do this for Axis POWs too? Maybe they were just opposed to the idea of holding prisoners of war in general.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/1/23

“This is Rex Morgan, M.D., for pete’s sake! Do you realize that something interesting briefly happened? Unacceptable!”

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Shoe, 4/29/23

Sure, we make fun of legacy strips where the punchline is “Ha ha, technology, amiright?” a lot, but they do serve a valuable purpose, in that they show us what the artists think young people look like. In the case of the Shoe team, I guess it’s … beatniks? Kids today, playing the bongos and going to poetry readings and always texting on their damn phones?

Dick Tracy and Hi and Lois, 4/29/23

Shout out to these two strips for showing us the whole spectrum of male homosociality, from the horny (“Good lord, I’d like to bang that chick, but failing that I’d like to purchase the product she’s advertising”) to the wholesome (“We’re just whackin’ balls back and forth over the fence! It’s Saturday and the weather’s great, and we’re a little drunk”).

Gil Thorp, 4/29/23

No we didn’t see it because you didn’t draw it, do you not know how comics work

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Dick Tracy, 4/28/23

I sort of forgot to mention that it seemed for a minute like the game-themed crime bullshit in Dick Tracy might take a turn into furry stuff, which, whatever you might think of furry stuff and Dick Tracy separately, it’s pretty funny when the two of them come together. But alas there’s been this week-long detour into a whole thing where [sigh] B.O. Plenty has a sexy cousin named Klinique (?), and she and a chicken named “Chick Tracy II” (because the original Chick Tracy died/was eaten???) are going to be on a commercial together, and let me tell you, the vibe is like a million times less wholesome than any furry stuff would’ve been.

Marvin, 4/28/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because Bitsy has a ghost for a roommate! Just the damned soul of, well, a dog, I guess, or maybe some other creature that’s howling endlessly on the spectral plane, having been driven mad by its endless liminal state between this world and the next that for whatever reason it cannot escape. That’s just wacky good fun!

Mary Worth, 4/28/23

“Like, for instance, I was like, ‘Remember that guy you went on a date with a year ago? What happened with that? Maybe you should ask him out again.’ And then you did! Now you owe me everything”