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Dick Tracy, 8/10/24

It looks like Dick Tracy is finally getting back to the “How is B-tier villain Silver Nitrate doing in the joint?” plot they teased us with last year, and the answer is, uh, not good, I guess! You know, there’s lots of questions that I think would be fun to see Dick Tracy explore, like “How would cryptocurrency work in the heightened world of Dick Tracy,” but there are others that I don’t think would be fun at all and would actually be pretty depressing instead, like examining how someone who doesn’t seem like a hardened, violent criminal would do in the traumatizing hellscape of the U.S. prison system. Still, I have to admit that once I squinted enough to read all these scary prison whispers, “Dude, stop farting!” made me laugh.

Gasoline Alley, 8/10/24

“Wait, what? Comics readers like it when a beloved character starts hoarding small animal corpses? Gross, but these numbers don’t lie. I guess that’s our next storyline, if we want to stay relevant!” –the Gasoline Alley creative team, probably

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Hi and Lois, 7/31/24

Trixie Flagston has, notoriously, been a baby for nearly 70 years, longer than most of us have been alive, and thought-balloons in complete sentences, so we think of her as having the mental capacity, knowledge, and experience of a much older child, or maybe even an adult. But if we are to take the narrative of the strip at face value, she is a baby, probably less than a year old, and we must therefore assume that she is constantly encountering new concepts and categories of object for the first time. Like today, for instance: she hears Ditto say “blocks” and assumes this castle will be made out of the stackable wooden cubes that she’s accustomed to smashing into and scattering with delight. Little does she know that these are new, unfamiliar Lego blocks, which will snap securely together, and which were possibly acquired by the twins specifically to protect their creations from their disruptive little sister! Surely that smug grin will be wiped off Trixie’s face when Dot or Ditto simply turns their castle back upright after Trixie’s attack, and a new a distressing fact about the world will settle into her mind.

Dick Tracy, 7/31/24

Hey, remember that guy who was being blackmailed over some salacious photos and was paying his mustachio’d blackmailer in cryptocurrency? Well, it turns out he owns a baseball team, or runs some other kind of “enterprise” for which he reports to the Commissioner of Baseball. Would that have made this storyline more interesting, if we had learned it earlier, before the MCU arrested all the bad guys? Maybe! But I guess we’ll never know, now.

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Dick Tracy, 7/20/24

Loving the MCU gang’s expressions here. They are absolutely disgusted that Dick has decided to do a raid that conforms to the fourth amendment for once. What is this, liberal Commiefornia???

Pluggers, 7/20/24

If you came into this cold, you might think that Pluggers took place in a post-apocalyptic world where the roads were ruled by bandits or mutants after the sun goes down, leaving ordinary folk in a state of panic. But no! It’s just that pluggers are old and their eyesight is failing, and that makes them a danger to themselves and others when they drive.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/20/24

Ha ha! It’s funny because Doc Pritchart is considering unnecessarily slicing Snuffy open and rummaging around in his insides, as part of a Medicaid fraud scheme!