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Dustin, 6/28/19

I’m on the record as saying that the Dustin picking-up-girls-in-bars strips seem wildly out of touch with the actual millennial experience of romance. But the fact that this young woman has brought her laptop to the bar on her evening out, presumably because she’s an semi-willing participant in the “gig economy” and the line between her work and personal life has been obliterated? And instead of having access to a professional IT help desk she needs to ask for tech support from random dudes in bars in order to keep the equipment she needs to earn a living in working order? That all checks out.

Judge Parker, 6/28/19

While we’re all waiting to find out who Judge Parker Emeritus’s prison patron is about to be, I want to draw your attention to whatever fruit our big beareded bruiser is holding. Is that a kiwi? Is Judge Parker Emeritus in some fancy prison where they serve kiwis? This is frankly unsatisfying.

Hagar the Horrible, 6/28/19

I’m very much enjoying Hagar’s smile in panel two. “That’s right lady, I give my wife nice things that I stole from royalty, who I rob and murder, I’m a god damned Viking and people better recognize.”

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Dustin, 6/21/19

A big part of Dustin’s whole deal is slamming on millennials without really understanding much by way of what millennials’ lives are actually like. The strip has made jokes about Instagram and Twitter despite clearly not knowing how either of them work; so I guess it’s probably for the best that that it refuses to deal at all with the modern romance scene as facilitated by Tinder and other dating apps (which is, according to literally every standup show I go to, an actual rich mine of comedy that millennials simply can’t get enough of). Fortunately the strip has a seemingly endless supply of “guy strikes out trying to pick up chicks at a fern bar” jokes left over from the ’80s lying around. Ha ha, it’s funny because Dustin says “I was into athletics in college,” which is a definitely a phrase a human whose native language is English would use!

Pluggers, 6/21/19

Speaking of millennials and their sex lives, do you ever worry that your mother-in-law thinks you’re cheating on your spouse by fucking your phone? Well, today’s Pluggers isn’t going to set your mind at ease, unfortunately.

Six Chix, 6/21/19

Sure, having noisy upstairs neighbors is annoying. But have these ladies considered maybe getting some furniture that would absorb the sound currently echoing around their vast, entirely empty apartment?

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Hi and Lois, 5/25/19

The best part about today’s strip is the expressions of pure delight on Ditto and his friend’s faces in panel two. This clearly isn’t the first time Thirsty has overshared the contours of marital woes with them, but now things have escalated to the point where he’s been thrown out of the house, and so they’re settling in for some tales of truly outrageous tales of domestic depravity.

Beetle Bailey, 5/25/19

Fun fact! “Knasen,” which, depending on which possibly incorrect auto-translation service you use, is Swedish either for “knees” or “the knot,” is what Beetle Bailey is called in Sweden. And since we all know that Swedish Beetle Bailey is just straight-up porn, that means that Plato has been spending his off hours getting aroused reading about the adventures of Scandinavian alternate universe versions of him and his friends, who get to actually have sex.

Not fun at all fact! Sarge often viciously beats up Beetle in public for the slightest irritation, and nobody ever stops him.

Dustin, 5/25/19

Hey kids, remember Dustin, the comic that doesn’t really know what Twitter is or how it works? Well, here’s some exciting news: it has even less of a grasp on Instagram.