Post Content

Crock, 3/20/17

You might think this is just a typical cartoon where a lonely desert-dwelling child’s only friend is a freakish buzzard. But, not so! Check out Little Otis’s blank, pupil-less stare in the second panel. That buzzard isn’t his friend at all; it’s hypnotizing him. Imagine “How should I introduce you to my mom, Wadsworth?” spoken in an eerie monotone. The only introducing that’s going to happen will come once Otis, under Wadsworth’s mesmerizing gaze, murders his parents and “introduces” the foul carrion eater to their delicious corpses.

Slylock Fox, 3/20/17

Hey, sinister grinning bear (?) lumberjacks: instead of stealing this poor beaver’s trees, have you considered recruiting him, for a good-paying job in the lumberjack industry that apparently still exists in this animal-ruled world? Honestly, how is it that in the animal economy there’s a single lumber company that isn’t entirely beaver-staffed?

Family Circus, 3/20/17

It’s bad, in the sense that it’s supposed to be “on fleek” (and I’m 100% sure the Family Circus isn’t clever enough to intend this to be an error either on Billy’s or Big Daddy Keane’s part), and also in the sense that the Family Circus shouldn’t be doing jokes about the phrase “on fleek.” Just bad all around. Bad bad bad.

Spider-Man, 3/20/17

Given that Rocket Raccoon isn’t well known on the version of Earth that has the misfortune to be depicted in Newspaper Spider-Man, I love that the lower word balloon in the second panel ends in an exclamation point. You’d think that the cop would say “Spider-Man — and a raccoon???? [comical BOI-OI-OING sound effect],” but nope, he’s just accepting this as yet another one of life’s passing mysteries.

Post Content

Family Circus, 3/12/17

Here’s what you know about the emotional lives of the two younger Keane Kids: Jeffy makes the tiniest noise as he gets into the cookie jar and all he can hear is deafening guilt and anxiety ringing through his skull; meanwhile, PJ contemplates the idea that each of his toes might be a distinct little smiling nightmare creature with cool equanimity.

Beetle Bailey, 3/12/17

Glad to see that Beetle Bailey is continuing to up its game when it comes to Sarge and Beetle’s perverse relationship! Today’s throwaway panels reveal that Beetle definitely views Sarge’s binges as a spectacle for his enjoyment. He plans to nibble on kale and wait for Sarge to come back to him at the end of his gorging process, wobbly and maybe a little nauseous. Hot stuff!

Post Content

Mark Trail, 3/5/17

“Despite similar appearances, toucans and hornbills are not related! I mean, they’re both birds, but other than that! So, basically, fuck hornbills! We’re not even going to discuss them or show you a picture beyond that shadowy figure in the first panel! No, it’s all about toucan facts, bitches! Toucans! Toucans! Toucans! Toucans!”

Family Circus, 3/5/17

Mommy and daddy are relying on the fact that the Keane Kids can’t spell words like E-S-C-A-P-E and A-B-A-N-D-O-N-M-E-N-T. It sure seems like Sam the dog can, though! “Take me with you,” he begs.

Six Chix, 3/5/17

Only one participant in the polyamorous multispecies throuple that’s being arranged here looks excited about things, and it’s not the lady or the bear!