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Dennis the Menace, 3/30/21

This is one of those comics where I feel like the joke is convoluted enough that I have to reason it out from first principles. Like, we know Mr. Wilson doesn’t have any friends — we know this with absolute certainty — so I guess the book he’s going through is supposed to be the White Pages, rather than a particularly thick personal address book, even though I’m pretty sure they stopped publishing the White Pages years ago and also the DIRECTORY heading never appeared at the top of the page in the middle of the book for whatever reason. Anyway, who do you think he’s calling? Given that Dennis has upgraded his menacing from “dropping by to annoy Mr. Wilson” to “dropping by with a friend to gawk at Mr. Wilson like he’s an animal at the zoo,” I certainly hope that it’s finally Child Protective Services.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/30/21

I guess the new hilarious “Harry Dinkle has blood running down his face” running gag comes from him biting his tongue when his god-like talent as a band director isn’t recognized by the ladies of this church, who live in a different town from where he taught high school and have literally no reason to know anything about him. That said, the funnier explanation would be that his face is starting to crack due to the pressure put on it by wild swings in expressions like the one we see between panels two and three, and pretty soon it’s going to just slide off the front of his head altogether.

Family Circus, 3/30/21

You may think Big Daddy Keane’s little smile here is cruel, but you have to understand that the minute Billy is large and/or skilled enough to defeat him in single combat, his reign as head of the household — and his life — are over. That day is coming, but it hasn’t come yet, Billy. Not quite yet.

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Gil Thorp, 3/29/21

The Gil Thorp winter basketball storyline is over! Donezo! It was boring and I’m not even going to bother recapping it! We’re cruising right ahead into spring, the new season that smells like freshly mowed baseball diamonds and [sniffs air] [record scratch] musty old books????

Yes, it appears our baseball/softball season is starting in the library — and the boringest part of the library, where they don’t even have any books or anything. Not sure what prospect would be funnier: if Debbie’s trailing spouse here got replaced on the library board by Gil or Coach Kaz or some other Milford-adjacent jock who really shakes things up in the stacks in a way that at first ruffles some feathers but ultimately everyone agrees it’s for the best, or if market research has shown that sports fans stopped reading newspaper comic strips years ago and so Gil Thorp is about to take a hard pivot into the thrilling library governance drama the last few remaining newspaper readers crave.

Hi and Lois, 3/29/21

I love how genuinely shocked Lois looks overhearing Hi’s tale. “Oh, no, he’s telling them about … golf? But we agreed! Not until they’re older!”

Family Circus, 3/29/21

Speaking of ruined innocence, I am very much enjoying Mommy’s expression. “Oh, no, am I going to have to deal with this moron’s thoughts about … his own mortality? At this hour? Absolutely not.”

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Blondie, 3/26/21

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but every once in a while a character pops up in Blondie who, even though they’re clearly drawn in the prevailing Blondie house style, gives off the vibe of being a caricature of a real person rather than a character made up out of whole cloth. I always assume this is done as a favor for a friend — or, in cases like today, when the dude in question is giving a knowing glance to the reader that says “eh? eh? I fell out of love with my fiance during the pandemic and no longer wish to marry her? eh?”, a personal attack on a nemesis.

Dick Tracy, 3/26/21

I’m continuing to refuse to try to understand the plot of the current Dick Tracy storyline and am just going along with its ~vibes~, and honestly having a pretty good time with it! I particularly like the final panel today, with a grim-faced Tiger Lilly shoving a crude drawing of a peace sign at a cop. “This is the commune’s cryptic symbol,” he’s saying. “Figure out what it means and you’ll be able to crack this thing wide open.”

Family Circus, 3/26/21

Billy looks pretty embarrassed, as well he should. If you’re putting on pants the normal way and can’t win a pants-putting-on-race against a kid who squirmed around until he somehow crammed both his feet through one pant leg while wearing shoes, you are not very good at putting on pants.