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Shoe, 10/19/24

To be sure, the human heart is a mystery, and nobody can say why anyone does anything, really, but that hasn’t stopped me from wondering why exactly Shoe brought back Muffy Hollandaise, a beloved (?) character from the ’80s or maybe the ’90s, couldn’t really tell you for sure but it’s been a long time, trust me. Anyway, since like 60% of Shoe strips are just characters saying generic gags to one another that don’t really pertain to them as distinct individuals, maybe the team decided they needed one more recurring character shape to be one of the gag-sayers, just to mix things up further. And, if that gag-saying character shape was a sexy bird-woman with a big juicy ass (as amply demonstrated in panel two), who’s going to complain? Certainly not all you perverts who read my website, that’s for sure.

Gasoline Alley, 10/19/24

Man, I kind of love how Ida Noe is losing it as she gets eclipsed by this fuckin’ robot. Arty’s all like, “Let’s go to space! I’m going to help you cheat in school,” and Ida Noe, who is literally a doll animated by some kind of evil spirit from the depths of hell, has to say “Uh, uh, let’s not be hasty! Have you talked to your parents? You don’t want them to worry!”

Family Circus, 10/19/24

I really enjoy how Billy is physically restraining Jeffy here. “No, you don’t understand, he’s grilling. It’s … too dangerous.”

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The Phantom, 9/8/24

Phantom was growing increasingly vexed
That the proles would identify him as John X.
So by making up missions and playing a role
He set out to bewilder the Jungle Patrol.

Now you may think the Phantom was being a dick,
But protecting The Legend is part of his schtick
And he doesn’t much mind it’s exacting a toll
On his credulous fans at the Jungle Patrol!

So poor Colonel Worubu is having a sad
‘Cause he’s lost the best buddy that he never had.
But his misery’s nothing but damage control
To the Unknown Commander of Jungle Patrol!

Mark Trail, 9/8/24

Mark proposes to save the Catalina Quail by burning down its habitat. It’s possible he doesn’t see that “local shrubbery” and “overgrown uncleared brush” are the same thing. It’s certain he hasn’t thought this all the way through. Either way though, roast quail is delicious.

Family Circus, 9/8/24

What’s more tragic: that Jeffy will grow into a sleep-deprived corporate drone like his Dad, or that Bil will deteriorate into a scatterbrained idiot like his son?

Rex Morgan, M.D. (panels), 9/8/24

Your finger hurts. No one can help you. No one cares. Your career is over and your life is meaningless. Sit, Truck, sit. Sit like you’ve never sat before.

—Uncle Lumpy

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Blondie, 8/16/24

This strip may on first read seem entirely incoherent, but I actually think it nicely captures many people’s instinctive take on generative AI. Delicious, chemically infused slop dished up a vaguely burger-flavored form? Yum yum, bring it on! Uncanny valley content slop that you find when desperately searching for information or recipes online or looking at pictures on Facebook? Ugh, no, gross, absolutely not, kill it with fire.

Judge Parker, 8/16/24

Think I’m siding with mom here. Oh, you think your little underwater sojourn has helped you solve the mystery of the missing dad? Well, have you considered that the missing dad is going to be dead forever, whereas this party is alive and bumpin’ for just a few more hours? Why do you have to ruin it now, when we’ve already spent all this money on nice hors d’oeuvres?

Family Circus, 8/16/24

Sorry, Dolly, if you can’t even rope in your stupidest sibling, I don’t think your plan to declare yourself a God manifest on Earth and demand worship is going to work out.