Archive: Funky Winkerbean

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Blondie, 10/11/19

A little something about me, folks: I have plantar fasciitis and various hip/lower/back/hamstring problems, which means that shoes that don’t work exactly right for me can cause me a lot of cumulative physical discomfort. Right now pretty much the only shoes I wear that aren’t dress shoes (and thank goodness I barely ever have to wear dress shoes) are these bad boys from Keen plus their sandal equivalent, both of which I own in multiple colors at any given time. And so while to my eyes Dagwood’s shoes look wildly uncomfortable, I respect the fact that he spotted the grey version of the brown shoes he always wears on sale and immediately snapped them up.

Family Circus, 10/11/19

Here’s another little something about me: I’m a huge baby about horror movies and thus almost never watch them, but I do like to read the plot descriptions of the really popular ones on Wikipedia, where, stripped of the filmmaking arts, they just come off as vaguely ridiculous. Anyway, based on the Wikipedia plot summary of 2018’s Hereditary (and, uh, spoilers ahead for a year-old film, I guess), Billy’s “trouble” is that he was supposed to be the human host for an ancient demon worshipped by a coven led by his grandmother, but the evil spirit was implanted in Jeffy instead, which quite honestly explains quite a lot.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/11/19

This is kind of Linda to say, but of course Buck already knew. They had already expressed deep intimacy the only way Funkyverse characters know how: by engaging in awful wordplay together.

Mary Worth, 10/11/19

Look, Estelle, are you expecting emotional fulfillment from a heterosexual relationship with a man? You think I’m happy with Dr. Jeff? I barely even like Dr. Jeff. Now get out there and become Wilbur’s girlfriend, for the love of Christ.”

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/9/19

“Anyway, now that he’s dead, I feel more free to tell everyone what an asshole he was. That’s how this works, right?”

Family Circus, 10/9/19

MOMMY [with one leg out the window, under her breath with her eyes closed in frustration]: damn it damn it damn it damn it

Pluggers, 10/9/19

WOW SOUNDS LIKE PLUGGERS CAN’T DEAL WITH THE OVERWHELMING SET OF CONSUMER CHOICES GENERATED BY CONTEMPORARY CAPITALISM

WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO SOVIET RUSSIA AND WAIT IN LINE FOR SOME UNFLAVORED ICE MILK, YOU WEIRD OLD DOG-MAN

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/7/19

I was going to poke fun here but, you know what? This strip? With a group of somber people at a funeral? And then one of them tries their hand at comic book-themed joke? And they completely botch it, because the line “with great power comes great responsibility” puts the responsibility on the person with the power, so I think Cindy wants to be saying that Bull was so popular that everyone’s coming back for his funeral, but in fact she’s saying that she’s so popular that it was her responsibility to grace this funeral with her beloved presence? And then there’s a smash cut to the obituary? It’s perfect. It’s a perfect Funky Winkerbean. How could you improve on it? You can’t. There’s literally no way.

Mary Worth, 10/7/19

So on last week’s date Wilbur did just want to watch Netflix and relax, and what he wanted to watch was a documentary about boxing and Estelle didn’t care for it but also didn’t speak up and they watched it and … now she doesn’t know about Wilbur? I’m not sure I really buy into this logic, but I also think dating Wilbur is a terrible idea and nobody should do it, so I’m not going to complain. Go to it, Estelle! Let the dumping commence!