Archive: Funky Winkerbean

Post Content

Curtis, 7/10/18

Curtis and Barry discover Michelle’s camgirl site with Zoom stuck at 400%.

Between Friends, 7/10/18

Obsessive neurotic Susan has vague memories of her former life.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/10/18

NARRATOR VOICE: “Their book was never nominated.”

Also, dearie, it’s called a “spit take,” not a “nod take” — you sip the coffee first; you don’t stick your damn nose in it. Any self-respecting Eisner nominee would know this.

Judge Parker, 7/10/18

Abbey has willed a gallows into existence in Sam’s office. Tread lightly, Sam!

Mary Worth, 7/10/18

Tommy has discovered the one person in Santa Royale who’s more of an emotional wreck than he is. I hear wedding bells!

Sally Forth, 7/10/18

Girl fight Girl fight GIRL FIGHT!!!

OK, that’s the actual joke; I just couldn’t help myself.


— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

It’s the Comics Curmudgeon! Summer 2018 Fundraiser, now accepting your generous contribution. Thank you!


Funky Winkerbean, 7/5/18

Don’t you just love it when some jerkwad announces “A Question!” as though you couldn’t recognize one without his expert help? Darin is a jerkwad, is what I’m saying.

Mark Trail, 7/5/18

More savage than the Maya?  Brr.

“Yes, Rusty — elite warriors were sacrificed in the “dark rituals,” while women and children were sold as slaves. Say, why don’t you and Mara go check out the market while the diggers and I have a word with your Dad?”

Gil Thorp, 7/5/18

The school newspaper sent 6:00 AM push notifications to every phone in town. Be careful crossing the street today, Dafne — Del Bader is the only guy who won’t try to run you over.

Dick Tracy, 7/5/18

Moon-themed exposition from Retik and Stellaluna. Apparently the Moon Maid DNA slurped up from that car wreck to create Mysta gave her a powerful attraction to Moon Maid’s now-remarried widower. Modern problems!


— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

It’s the Comics Curmudgeon Summer 2018 Fundraiser! Go nuts! Send cash!


Gil Thorp, 7/3/18

In the annals of phoning it in, Gil Thorp stands as a colossus. And it’s contagious — unless Gil has taken to asking himself questions, the artist was supposed to draw Kaz in the first panel (“Wait a minute … did I just? … Aah, screw it!”).

Anyway, at Gil’s urging, beloved straight-shooting State Coach Colvin has promised no-hoper Kevin Pelwecki a big, steaming sack o’ nothing — walk-on tryout, no aid, thanks for stopping by, see ya kid. My advice? Take it, Kevin — it’s a damn sight better than anything you’ve got now. Especially the coaching!

Funky Winkerbean, 7/3/18

As his hermetic working relationship with Uber pal Pete grows more intense, Darin has gradually distanced himself from wife and family — fobbing off son “Sky” on his exhausted Mom, “forgetting” that wife Jessica lives three time zones away, and then using that as an excuse not to call her. Now, the image of his beloved Pete standing naked and dripping wet throws him into panic: “Must run from feeeeeeelings … !

Tell me again who’s on the cosmic treadmill here?

9 Chickweed Lane, 7/3/18

The archives of the Comics Curmudgeon are littered with the bones of abandoned one-gag comics: Marmaduke is a big dog, Herb and Jamaal never say anything straight out, Heathcliff is nuts. If it weren’t for the occasional breath of “Everybody hates Grandpa” fresh air, Marvin would join them on the discard pile.

And so it is with 9 Chickweed Lane, with its now decade-long “Oh, the sexy, sexy music!” theme. Lately it’s just been a rotating cast of interchangeable partners rutting to unheard compositions. Is it wrong to want the Nazis back?.

Dustin, 7/3/18

Dude, have you ever read this comic?


— Uncle Lumpy