Post Content

Crock and Rhymes With Orange, 3/2/20

Today we must consider, as we occasionally do on this blog, the anonymous people who fulfill one of the most thankless tasks in the comics industry — indeed, one of the most thankless tasks in our whole late capitalist superstructure. I’m talking, of course, about the people who add color for the online versions of black-and-white daily newspaper comic strips, who seem to have only in-strip context clues as to how to proceed and not a ton of time to decide what colors to use.

Our story today involves two strips: one a longtime legacy strip, now shambling forward forever in zombie reruns, and another that was considered a fresh and different comics page perspective when it was launched a mere 25 years ago. Both have gags today that are, quite frankly, disgusting, though the visual cues signifying what’s happening are quite subtle, and it’s interesting to see how the colorist reacted in each case. In Crock, the joke is that little Otis, assuming that his mother would not allow him to have a pet camel because camels shit so much, has covered the beast’s anus with what appears to be medical tape, an extremely temporary solution that can only end in a lower GI crisis for the poor animal, a fecal explosion, or both. The colorist managed to spot the butthole-covering gauze and colored it white, in contrast with the brownish camel fur, ensuring that we all recognize Otis’s stratagem and anticipate the horror to come.

In Rhymes With Orange, meanwhile, the joke is that if you’re a snowman, a “urine test” isn’t a test of your own urine, but rather a test of urine that others have deposited on you, with the implication being that even sentient snowmen are used as a convenient object on which animals, and possibly people, urinate, much to the snowmen’s presumed disgust. You can see a little triangle at the bottom left of our patient that presumably represents a small section of his body that had been partially melted by a steaming stream of dog piss. This should by rights be a soft yellow color, and the fact that it’s as white as the rest of him means one of two things: either the colorist took stock of all this and said “No, not today, I will not cross this line and spend my workday examining the color choices in Adobe Photoshop and deciding which best represents pee, I have an MFA in graphic design,” or they blessedly just didn’t get the joke in the first place, which really puts them one up on all of us.

Mary Worth, 3/2/20

I’m absolutely in love with the idea that Jared is such an intense Star Wars fanboy that he’d feel compelled to see a parody Star Wars film but would experience great emotional distress while doing so, like he was watching a horror movie. Clearly the most unnerving scene was the “one with the lightsaber,” in which I feel safe in assuming that the iconic laser sword, normally used by noble space monks to fight each other even though they have access to perfectly good guns, became a very on-the-nose visual metaphor for a dick. Jared couldn’t even stand to look at that one! The pleasure of recognition and the pain of irreverence, intermingled in a single cinematic experience! It must’ve been deliciously uncomfortable for the poor lad.

Family Circus, 3/2/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Dolly is heavily invested in the patriarchy!

Funky Winkerbean, 3/2/20

I DON’T KNOW, BECKY, HARRY ISN’T RETIRED AND HE SEEMS TO HAVE TIME FOR THAT KIND OF THING! I KNOW THE STRIP KEEPS SAYING HE’S RETIRED BUT IF THAT’S TRUE WHY THE FUCK DOES HE KEEP COMING INTO WORK

Post Content

Mary Worth, 2/25/20

Remember, folks: Mary is never not being passive aggressive, and while normally we’d expect something sarcastic about what a shitty job Dawn did on the scarf, as near as I can tell she actually did a pretty good job on the scarf, so Mary’s got to take a different tack. Personally, I would’ve gone with “How lovely, and such a wonderful gift for me, an inhabitant of Southern California, where it’s almost always warm,” but Mary is upping her game and apparently implying that knitting is a great outlet for your sexual energy now that you’re not able to spend all your time fornicating, an activity that frankly is quite audible through the regrettably thin Charterstone walls, dear.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/25/20

Oh, huh, I guess yesterday’s Funky Winkerbean literally didn’t have a joke at all, but rather just existed to set up today’s “joke,” which is that Funky missed the exciting overtime period in the basketball game, because he stepped out of the living room just long enough to pour some hot chocolate. This seems odd, since both NBA and NCAA basketball overtime periods last a full five minutes of playing time — and obviously longer in real time — so we have to ask: does Funky Winkerbean think basketball overtime is played as sudden death, with the first team scoring winning? Have they set up possibly a full week of jokes predicated on a misunderstanding about the very thing they’re joking about? Stay tuned!

Six Chix, 2/25/20

Are Christians more likely to pray around Christmas? Or is the implication here that this lady is praying to Santa?

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 2/24/20

There are some days when I deliberately misconstrue the obviously intended meaning of a comic strip for comedic effect, but then there are others where I just … genuinely … don’t get the joke. Today is one of them! I don’t get the joke in Funky Winkerbean! My only clue is that every joke in Funky Winkerbean is about how we’re all dying, just some of us more quickly than others, so … maybe it’s that the Winkerbeans are too old to drink beer while watching sports anymore so now they’re drinking hot chocolate instead? Feel free to point out how I’m obviously wrong, in the comments, I’m dying to know what’s up here!

Pluggers, 2/24/20

Say what you will about the art in Pluggers, but I think this drawing of the cat-plugger has nicely captured the facial expression of someone on the nonconsensual receiving end of a long, rambling anecdote who has no obvious exit strategy.

Mark Trail, 2/24/20

Speaking of nicely captured facial expressions, Mark is definitely wearing the frozen mask here of someone who expected to get a lot less pushback from his family about the mildly annoying guy that he left to die in the harsh Himalayan foothills. “I don’t know for sure, Cherry,” Mark says, “but he sure posted a lot on Instagram! Isn’t that the real story here?”