Archive: Gasoline Alley

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Crock, 3/16/23

A fun fact is that this is literally how World War I started — or, I guess, is literally why World War I couldn’t be stopped after it started even though everyone kind of knew it was a bad idea.

Gasoline Alley, 3/16/23

Ha ha, Ida Noe, the creepy talking doll, seems to know a thing or two about shaking a dead person’s hand! You can cover her mouth all you want, but ultimately you cannot stop her.

Judge Parker, 3/16/23

RANDY PARKER! He’s tanned, rested, and ready for this assignment. Like, really tanned. Leathery. He spent the entire period when he was off the bench in a high-powered tanning booth. Why did he do this to himself. Is he even human anymore, under all that tan???

Pluggers, 3/16/23

Ha ha, were you planning on spending the rest of your day not thinking about your tongue and how old it is? Well, too bad! And here you thought the only body horror Pluggers delivered was its parade of freakish man-animal hybrids.

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Blondie, 3/10/23

Newspaper comics version of horseshoe theory: when new-look Mark Trail and eternally old-look Blondie come to the same position on cryptocurrency and the blockchain.

Gasoline Alley, 3/10/23

Say what you will about Gasoline Alley, but it absolutely nails the experience of having a long, rambling, irritating conversation with an old person that goes nowhere.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/10/23

In terms of “comic strip wives that might be interested in a three-way,” I wouldn’t have put Helga at the top of the list, but to be honest I wouldn’t have put her at the bottom either.

Hi and Lois, 3/10/23

I’ve never had a large enough home to be blessed with my own man cave; are they for … masturbating? Is that what you guys are doing in there? Jerking off? That’s sure what I’m getting from today’s Hi and Lois!

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Dennis the Menace, 3/7/23

You don’t spend [mumblety mubelty] years as The Comics Curmudgeon without endless little bits of comics trivia ending up jumbled up in your brain, to the extent that you don’t even know which are real and which your brain spawned on its own accord. Like, for instance, my first thought on reading this was, “Wait, isn’t Henry supposed to be an engineer of some kind? Or an architect? I’m pretty sure we’ve seen a drafting board in his office.” Maybe it’s true! Maybe one of my smart commenters will find the link to the relevant panel that I cannot. But even if it is, clearly such established continuity is less important than taking the opportunity to have Dennis menace his father’s masculinity vis-à-vis his class status.

Gasoline Alley, 3/7/23

Ida Noe is a creepy talking doll who is not a longtime aspect of Gasoline Alley continuity, but rather has just been around for a few months, which is just a blink on the geological timescale on which we measure developments in Gasoline Alley. Still, despite her shockingly recent introduction, hardcore Gasoliney Alley residents apparently need to be reminded of what her whole deal is, which is why she’s delivering the instant classic line “Ida Noe’s my name! Time travel is my game!” Last time Ida Noe used her powers of time travel, she brought our gang to Santa’s beach vacation, which I … guess is time travel? Of a sort? Anyway, maybe this time around she’ll take the kids to the future, when Walt has woken up from his nap.

Gil Thorp, 3/7/23

“But most importantly, no one got hurt. Which is definitely a thing that could’ve happened, when you have a bunch of teenagers competing to see who can lift more weight, showing off in front of a hooting audience of their peers! Ha ha, we really dodged a bullet there.”

Hi and Lois, 3/7/23

Good lord, these two women look exhausted. Sorry maintaining the basics of socially acceptable politeness while having a vaguely unpleasant interaction is so trying, ladies, but that’s the price of civilization!!!