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Gil Thorp, 11/3/12

Boring as the current Gil Thorp storyline has been, it at least has kept me guessing. Mostly those guesses have been along the lines of “OK, now it’s going to be about something other than Terry Gallagher becoming a manufactured Milford celebrity more or less on the whims of two other ill-defined random dudes, right? How about … now? Or, now? Nope, still about that, huh.” But also I’m confused as to how the plot’s going to end, though I think today’s strip seems to set things up for the traditional narrative of hubris followed by destruction. How else are we to interpret the final panel of today’s strip, in which Terry is paraded about the stadium like a Celtic God in the back of a chariot, one of his women at his side (oh, he’s making out with multiple girls, FYI), receiving the fist-pumping adulation of thousands? Oh, it’s going to turn ugly for Terry Gallagher. Ugly indeed. (Just kidding, probably he’s going to just get yelled at by his makeout partners and Milford won’t make the playdowns and he’ll smile and say something wry.)

Dick Tracy, 11/3/12

Dick Tracy has been lighter on the graphic, brutal violence since the reboot, but it still has its high points! I like the fact that the little arrow-box, a classic Dick Tracy device, is being used to make sure you realize that yes, that ash-like material Sparkle Plenty scooped out from under the flames in the stove is in fact hot ash, and that right now Measles’ already scarred flesh is being horribly burned. We’ve actually seen Gertie sneaking up on him with an ax for the last couple days, so at least the exact form of horrible pain Measles is suffering has come as surprise!

Archie, 11/3/12

Ha ha, that Mr. Lodge sure does get mad at Archie! Who knows whether it’s because he’s poor or he’s ginger or he wants to touch Veronica’s lady parts or he’s just kind of a jackass, but whatever the case, we now know that Mr. Lodge thinks of Archie as a mere object, a subhuman “it,” to be destroyed without a second thought when the time is right. Enjoy your next visit to stately Lodge Manor, Archie! It will be your last.

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Crankshaft, 11/1/12

They say that if you live long enough you’ll experience just about everything, and so here it is: A Crankshaft I laughed at unironically. I think it’s Crankshaft’s look of genuine surprise in the final panel that really does it for me. What do you think he’s worried about more: that Rose found his blog, where writes hundreds of words a day alternately railing against the other members of his household and making terrible puns, or that Rose found his elaborately nesting folders of bookmarked scat porn?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/1/12

Speaking of hilarious third-panel facial expressions, what you’re looking at here is Rex’s involuntary grimace whenever someone uses the word “friend.” The concept involves spending time with other human beings, treating them as equals, listening to things they say, and trying not to look irritated — all things Rex hates, obviously. “I never thought I’d say this, but how can I get away from this guy and get back to the house with all the stripper ladies?”

Gil Thorp, 11/1/12

Gil Thorp: Still about two kids trying to make an new Irish student a superstar, for some reason, and now also about Beech Street, and how it rules, or maybe “Beech Street rules,” whatever those are! But what really grabbed my attention today is the poor young woman in the second panel, who appears to just be resting an enormous sandwich against her mouth instead of eating it. Is this her way of faking normalcy to cover up for a terrible but all-too-common eating disorder? Get help, girl!

Archie, 11/1/12

OH MY GOODNESS SOME PEOPLE SPEAK AND READ CHINESE IT’S CRAAAAAAZY

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Gil Thorp, 10/26/12

Oh, hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s been going on in Gil Thorp, but trust me when I say that what’s been going on Gil Thorp is exactly the same thing that was going on when we last checked in with Gil Thorp — some Milford kids whose names I am not bothering to commit to memory are trying to make Irish Terry Gallagher into a star, for some reason — and it hasn’t gotten more interesting since. Today’s strip is mostly of note because the plot requires that characters find out information from a newspaper but somebody at some point in the creative process said, “Wait, kids don’t read the newspaper anymore, do they? iPads, kids love iPads, have them looking at iPads.”

Pluggers, 10/26/12

I love the bear-man’s facial expression and body posture of cringing terror here, as he becomes increasingly alarmed that he’s been lured to a non-plugger dining establishment, perhaps as some kind of trap. In fact, the bear-man’s wife is looking pretty smug, and it’s already been established that she’s not of plugger origins, so maybe it is a trap, or at least a deliberate attempt to drag him out of his comfort zone for the dual purpose of eating some non-deep-fried food for once and also seeing him squirm a little.

(Side note: I’m vaguely embarrassed to even know this, but Mrs. Bear-Man is actually supposed to be a kangaroo; I think the colorists have misinterpreted the ears and guessed that she’s a rabbit, thus the white coloring. Either that or the years of hated she-plugger existence have turned her normally brown pelt prematurely grey.)

Spider-Man, 10/26/12

Hmm, how to distract readers from the fact that Peter’s logic — “Kraven will steal that diamond tiara! Except, wait, that doesn’t seem like the sort of thing Kraven would do at all? Looks like I’m going to have to figure out why he’s going to do the totally out-of-character thing I’ve just arbitrarily decided he’s going to do!” — is completely insane? Hey, why not have Peter take off his teal suit jacket, hang it up on a weird, ill-drawn blob on the side of a building, and put on an electric blue suit jacket? Perfect! That makes even less sense!

Shoe, 10/26/12

“And I don’t care how much of the world has to be destroyed to lower those gas prices, as long as I don’t have to see it!”