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Dick Tracy, 3/17/26

Welp, the huge prison riot/jailbreak in Dick Tracy is winding down, with a lot of bad guys on the loose but the authorities regaining control of the facility. Now, there are lots of narrative reasons why we might start with some guards capturing prisoners in an open field, including one guy kneeling with a gun pointed at the back of his head, and then smash cut to a bunch of bodies under sheets in a similar looking field. But as your Comics Curmudgeon who remembers the old days of cartoonish Dick Tracy ultraviolence, I’m kind of required to guess at the grimmest possible narrative reason.

Hi and Lois, 3/17/26

Man, there are a lot of holidays I’m glad we’re not going to see Thirsty celebrating, I’m just gonna leave it at that!

Mary Worth, 3/17/26

“Yes, we certainly do, Toby! Say, how are your parrots doing? You know, the ones that shit everywhere and almost drove you to divorce?”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/12/26

Oh, I didn’t mention that the Hollywood starlet turned recluse turned runaway in the current Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline was named “Lorna Starr” — because she used to be a star, GET IT???? — but now, in order to go incognito in her new, roots-country-forward community, she’s going by “Mae Mae Clodfelter.” I guess this is supposed to be her actual name, or maybe she’s just decided to go by the most country name she can think of? Either way, I think even in a town where guys named “Buck” and “Truck” and “Mud Mountain Murphy” walk the streets, people are going to think that’s a bit much.

Archie, 3/12/26

I genuinely appreciate the attention the artist has lavished on the breasts of the young woman on the Andrews’ new plasma TV. The whole context lets us know that Archie’s dad really is extremely focused on this latest advance in television technology, and unlike his son doesn’t experience horniness for even a fleeting second.

Hi and Lois, 3/12/26

“OK, well, where did you get this huge bookshelf? Didn’t this used to be in the living room?”

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Hi and Lois, 3/10/26

Not sure why everyone in this panel, including the lady behind the ticket desk, looks so God-damned smug. There’s no reason for it, not least because, if Ditto is operating the spotlight, it’s definitely not going to be on Britney. Based on what I’ve seen of his overall competence, they’ll be lucky if it’s even pointing at the stage.

Gearhead Gertie, 3/10/26

Oh, man, Gearhead Gertie died, you guys. She fell thousands of feet into the Grand Canyon and died in a horrible car wreck. I’d say she will be missed, but, honestly, probably not that much. I mean, her husband doesn’t seem that broken up about it, and for good reason.

Blondie, 3/10/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because Dagwood is so terrified of being alone with his own thoughts for even a single moment that his brain will simply spontaneously shut down when faced with the possibility!

Mary Worth, 3/10/26

“Hmm, is it possible that Harvey became enraged and stormed off because my advice was too good?” is absolutely top-notch Mary Worth. I’m standing up at my desk and saluting right now, that’s how incredible this is.