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Archive: Hi and Lois

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This Ain’t The Spring 2021 Baseball Season Plot of Gil Thorp XXX: A Porn Parody

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Gil Thorp, 5/28/21

They say a happy marriage is one where each partner can still surprise the other, and by that definition my longtime partnership with soap opera comic strips has still got it. When this saga began at the library board meeting, little could I guess that it would lead here here, with a librarian gently letting a teen boy that she’s been acutely aware of his erotic assignations in the stacks, and looking over her glasses as she asks pointedly if he lacks for company tonight.

Hi and Lois, 5/28/21

Every once in a while, Hi and Lois likes to remind you that Beetle Bailey is Lois’s brother. Look, Chip has a picture of his Uncle Beetle on his nightstand! Also, it looks like Beetle has left the army and works for a fast food franchise now? Or maybe he’s joined a Communist army?

The Lockhorns, 5/28/21

I guess the joke here is that Leroy has made so little impression that his boss doesn’t even know his first name, but it’s pretty clear based on the banner that none of the underlings know their boss’s name either! Just a real sad lack of workplace camaraderie all around.

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Mary begins to look ill — but this time it’s not from seasickness

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Mary Worth, 5/18/21

Look, I don’t ask for much in this life, and maybe I’m being greedy for wanting anything beyond Jeff hearing Mary’s story and reacting with “Whoa, sounds like a real psycho! She was a looker, right?” But I truly want the rest of this week to consist of Jeff describing in graphic detail all the hot crazy girls who stop by Chez Cory and have loud sex with Drew upstairs why Jeff enjoys a hearty bowl of stew down in the kitchen, chuckling softly to himself.

Sam and Silo, 5/18/21

Ah, remember Sam and Silo, the low-stakes strip about two incompetent small-town cops? Well, I regret to inform you that Sam and Silo have launched a violent coup against the town’s legitimate elected government.

Hi and Lois, 5/18/21

Congrats to Hi and Lois for coming up with an extremely wholesome act of badass rebellion for its protagonist to throw in the face of his cruel boss, I guess?

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Eyes empty of thought or moral agency

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Beetle Bailey, 5/11/21

As recently noted, Zero’s one-dimensional characterization has in the past decade or so shifted from “is very stupid” to “is a very stupid farm boy”. I for one am excited about the next stage in his evolution, to “is a very stupid farm boy who is also a deadly accurate sniper, just pumping bullet after bullet into the skulls of his enemies while maintaining that same vacant, aw-shucks grin.”

Hi and Lois, 5/11/21

Not sure why (beyond basic sexism) “humorless scold” is a common attribute assigned to little girls in comics (see also: Dolly Keane, Margaret from Dennis the Menace) but I feel like Dot has been really leaning hard into it lately, to the extent that it stops being annoying and starts being funny again. “You’re a drunk, mom, and your boring friends are all drunks” is a fine addition to Hi and Lois’s exploration of suburbia’s alcohol problem.

Mary Worth, 5/11/21

I know everything about Ashlee has been a forest of red flags so far, but today she appears to be about to eat a slice of pizza sideways, clear evidence of utter madness. She needs to be locked up in that plastic prison where they put Magneto in the first X-Men movie and studied by scientists to see what makes her tick.