Post Content

Shoe, 4/11/12

I’m not really sure if the pharmacist in panel is telling Roz that her pills have gotten more expensive or that her dosage has been tripled, but, really, who cares? Roz sure doesn’t! She’s high as a kite! Abusing prescription drugs is awesome, that’s the important lesson here.

Hi and Lois, 4/11/12

I guess Trixie in panel two is supposed to have an “I’m sad because I’m sick” face, but honestly to me it really just looks like it’s an “I’m sad because of what’s in my thought balloon” face. “I can’t even walk yet! I’m such a failure! I can’t coast by on a being a cute baby with stupid hair forever, I need to achieve independent mobility!”

Judge Parker, 4/11/12

“And why should he? I mean, there’s no possible conflict of interest in an elected official taking an extravagant gift from a foreign national who’s heavily involved in several murder attempts in his jurisdiction, after all!”

Post Content

Pluggers, 4/8/12

Happy Easter, everybody! Did you ever have warm feelings towards the Easter Bunny, that lovable fertility symbol turned Easter mascot? Well, prepare to have those completely washed away now that you see him for what he really is: just another plugger, with his eggs stacked haphazardly in the back of his beat up pick-up truck, just stone cold flying out all over the highway, so what if some of those baskets come in a little light, he’s not paid enough to care, those little squallers can kiss his furry ass, you know what I’m saying?

Judge Parker, 4/8/12

Haha, yet another Judge Parker storyline has ended in lucrative rewards for one of the strip’s main characters, who did nothing to deserve it! Last time around Judge Parker Emeritus gained the fawning love of millions for accidentally falling off a building; this time it’s April, who got a couple of Mercedeses from her Saudi prince friend as a way of apologizing for the ways in which his vast polygamous family’s internal politics inconvenienced her. Oh, also, he probably had one of his daughters-in-law executed, but the important thing here is that April and Randy will be tooling around in shiny new cars, huzzah!

Post Content

Six Chix, 3/30/12

Color me 100% DELIGHTED at this frank depiction of three ladies just getting stone cold blotto in the comics. In fact, it took me a moment to get that there was a pun in play here, and I thought the whole joke was “Ha ha, these three women have consumed an amazingly large amount of alcohol, and now they feel really unpleasant!” I also thought that the lady in the middle had had her throat slit, possibly in a drunken brawl, though I guess that’s just supposed to be her chin. Anyway, things are never quite as good as I imagine them to be, but they’re still pretty good in this case.

Momma, 3/30/12

Oh, Momma, I think you’re confusing your lingo here! A “hit” in crime-talk is a murder for hire; maybe the term you’re looking for is “shakedown”? Or maybe you think Francis is going to purchase a “hit” of some illegal narcotic (that’s what the kids call it? a “hit of heroin”? the kids? the junkie kids?) with your money, something his sweaty overeagerness in panel three might suggest. I realize this is all taking place in a world where there’s a radio show called “The Greatest Hits On Earth” and also people still buy radios and they cost $40, but for some reason “hit” really bothers me.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/30/12

I have been trying to find something nice to say about Funky Winkerbean’s 40th anniversary celebration, and finally here’s something: it’s nice to see that 40 years ago Funky Winkerbean didn’t feel obliged to put ‘quotes’ around ‘phrases’ to ’emphasize’ the ‘joke.’

Judge Parker, 3/30/12

Ha ha, ladies, more concerned with interior decorating than with blowing away intruders, amiright fellas? It’s a wonder we even let them have guns!