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The Comics Curmudgeon 2008 Fall Fundraiser



Hey, it’s the twice-a-year fund drive for the Comics Curmudgeon! Click the panel above or here to help keep the Comics Curmudgeon strong and independent. Thank you!

Update: Links to individual banners are available on the Contributions page. Scroll to the bottom (not too fast!) and click away — collect all 48!

— Uncle Lumpy

Every long-running comic has a special bag of tricks to keep things fresh. Let’s see how they do it!

Crankshaft, 10/1/08

When your lead character is a bully and a jerk, you need to rebuild sympathy from time to time or you’ll lose your audience. One way is to show the character’s Secret Pain — Ed’s was illiteracy, beaten to suffering death in an endless PSA a few years back. Another approach is to reveal a Heart of Gold beneath the crust, and here we are. Lovable Senior Ed Crankshaft uses a flashback to teach upstart pitcher Dwayne that “you’ve got to want it more than anything” or some such claptrap, and incidentally reveal that he, Ed Crankshaft, personally, single-handedly, and heroically helped Jefferson Jacks break the color barrier for the Toledo Mudhens back in ’47.

The sneery guy in the middle panel is “Beanball” Bushka, probably Coach Bull’s dad. We know he must be a bully and a jerk, because he acts exactly like the adult Crankshaft.

Family Circus, Judge Parker, 10/1/08

A little gratuitous skin from time to time helps maintain audience interest!

Sally Forth, 10/1/08

Oh, Sally, Sally — this is not the way.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Judge Parker, 9/14/08

Is an attractive, large-breasted young woman answering the door wearing next to nothing for no good reason? Why, it must be Judger Parker then! Thank goodness Sam is on the case, since he’s repeatedly proven himself to be immune to sex appeal of any form and will continue grimly towards the goal of his mission: informing the inhabitants of Dewey Cheatem’s house that the man who is probably their friend or loved one or a member of their family has been killed. Sam would like you to believe that he’s doing this because he, and only he, and not the corrupt, incompetent Phoenix law enforcement apparatus, will be able to solve this mysterious crime, but I suspect that he mostly just likes being a dick.

Apartment 3-G, 9/14/08

Though the Alan Is A Drug Addict storyline in Apartment 3-G has given us all many joys, I believe that today is in fact the Big Payoff, as we learn that, for the true addict, Getting High Is All He Or She Cares About. As we have seen, this can damage your relationships with others, cause you problems on the job, and, once the only drug dealer in all of New York heads to the Hamptons for his annual vacation, will leave you incredibly bored, since you won’t have any hobbies left other than ingesting that wonderful dope.

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Judge Parker, 9/7/08

Say, is your comic feature in the midst of some incredibly boring exposition gear-grinding, featuring two people jabbering in a professional setting that doesn’t lend itself to cleavage shots? Why not add a random panel full of sexy bikini-clad ladies, for some reason? It’s easy on the eyes, and it couldn’t possibly be less exciting than another Steve-Gloria panel!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/7/08

Due to the heteronormal patriarchal superstructure still embedded in cultural production, though, the fondness-inducing qualities of Rex’s “patootie” must remain only talked about, never depicted.

Extra credit assignment: Discuss the “busting” of Rex’s “patootie.”