Archive: Judge Parker

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Andy Capp, 2/21/25

Among the strips I’m starting to revisit is Andy Capp (never forget: ANDY CAPP!), and of course, there’s an important question one asks when starting to read this beloved British comics institution after the better part of a decade: is Andy Capp still a drunk? He’s a drunk, right? That’s his whole thing? Today’s strip, in which we learn that Andy would rather die horribly than spend his precious beer money on professional services of any kind, affirms this timeless truth.

Dennis the Menace and Bizarro, 2/21/25

One of my comics pet peeves is characters saying stuff they would never actually say (or having it implied that they said it moments before the in-strip action) just to set up a punchline. Take today’s Dennis the Menace, for instance: Surely a mail carrier would be much more likely to ask “Is he friendly?” or “Does he bite?” in a scenario where he’s encountering an unfamiliar and unleashed dog, as that would be relevant to his professional interests. Why on earth would he care about the dog’s peeing/pooping situation? I was planning on going on a whole diatribe about how cartoonists are simply obsessed with peeing and pooping, but then I read today’s Bizarro and immediately thought “Wait, is the implication here that Jesus drinks water and pisses out wine? Because that’s what the ‘In’/’Out’ labels pretty heavily imply to me,” so you know what, maybe I’m part of the problem.

Archie, 2/21/25

Reggie Mantle generally gets a bad rap, as he primarily exists in the Archieverse as an antagonist for our pals, but you know what? He’s absolutely in the right here. Is the student newspaper a joke to you, Jughead? Some of us are trying to learn about the practice of good journalism here!

Judge Parker, 2/21/25

Being best college buds with Sophie seems like fun — like, you get invited to bumpin’ party weekends out in the Hamptons. There are downsides, of course — like, said party weekends involve discovering corpses — but you have to take the good with the bad. Still, I don’t think it’s right that Sophie made Reena watch dronecam snuff footage without any warning or even anything fun as a lead-in (having to hang out with Randy Parker does not count as fun).

Daddy Daze, 2/21/25

Oh, Daddy Daze daddy, you and I both know that none of that ever happened! Why would you lie to your son about this?

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Dick Tracy, 2/17/25

Not sure if America was in the mood for the Dick Tracy storyline just concluded, about how the families prominent in our civic and financial elites are getting Nazi-curious about their Nazi ancestors. But has there ever been an era that wasn’t up for a good corpse-napping story? Dr. Hart here is pissed about an attempted corpse theft and she wants Neo-Chicago’s top cop on the case! Only he can track down the perpetrators! And, of course, if the notoriously trigger-happy Tracy were to produce more corpses in the course of his investigation, bringing more business to the morgue … well, that would just be an added bonus.

Judge Parker, 2/17/25

Look, I’m fine with Sophie acknowledging that there are few things less interesting to a college-age girl than her dad’s middle-aged dude friends, but I draw the line on her deciding to just stop engaging with Spener-Driver-Parker antics altogether. Sophie, we already have a comic strip about a blonde college student doing blonde college student stuff, it’s called Luann and (as I am reminded now that I have violated my blood oath and started reading it again) it’s pretty dire. You need to get in there and start hacking that drone footage! You’ve got an audience to entertain here and “doing your homework” or whatever is not going to cut it.

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Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/16/25

Now, I joke a lot that the only real industries in Hootin’ Holler are moonshining, chicken theft, and (Doc Pritairt only) Medicaid fraud. However, obviously it’s realistic that some of its inhabitants toil in the dirty and dangerous extractive industries that power the flatlanders’ cities. A few dare to dream of ascending to management positions, only to be laughed at for their rustic diction by the city slickers until they give up. You can understand why Snuffy and Lukey don’t even bother trying!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/16/25

Today’s strip offers some interesting insight into the question of why humans as a species haven’t been exterminated altogether in the post-animalpocalypse world, and are even still legally allowed to own pets: animals may have occupied most important social roles, but the remaining veterinarians are still necessary to treat their new overlords’ health problems, at least until enough animals get through the new medical schools. But until then, the vet offices are still open and very necessary. Look at poor Max! He’s very sick, or possibly very high, and either way is in dire need of medical attention.

Judge Parker, 2/16/25

OK, very little about the backstory of Judge Parker that’s lead to this moment is believable, and it’s also not particularly believable that Sophie would use her family turning to her for her superhacking skills into an excuse to do a bunch of emotional processing, but you know what is honestly believable? Referring to Randy Parker as “Sam’s friend.” Like, yes, I’ve been writing about Sophie since (gulp) 2006, but in the world of the strip, she’s literally a teenager, and Randy is just some guy her adoptive dad hangs out with occasionally and is fundamentally not interesting or relevant to her life most of the time. And good for her! He’s not that interesting to me, honestly!