Post Content

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

It’s the 2018 Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser! Check out all the ways you can support this fine site!

Baby Blues, 11/28/18

Civilization’s bargain: Women comfort; men keep the bugs away. Step up, Darryl.

Judge Parker, 11/28/18

Abby — a woman — longs to comfort her wounded child, but manly Sam has conditions, to make sure that Neddy’s mood is within permissible bounds, that her return is properly motivated, and that she won’t inconvenience him in any way. Let’s listen in:

“OK, Sam, it’s time for The Talk again — pull up there by the gate. See what it says up there, in bronze on granite? ‘Spencer Farms’ — Spencer. I’m wealthy; Neddy and Sophie have their own inheritances, what have you got? Shut up, I’ll tell you — you’ve got the leftover from the shoe deal with Jules because of Neddy, the commissions on the factory deal with Rocky because of Neddy, and the profit on selling the bus to Hank because of Neddy. You’re at least enough of a lawyer to understand how our prenup works, and how you got your clothing allowance, your Pinot stash, and this stupid car. So go back to your “office” over the stable, do your “work,” and stay the hell out of my way: I’m going to go take care of my daughter.”

Hi and Lois, 11/28/18

Before Hi and Lois changed artists, a horizontal line and two dots meant “bedroom eyes”; now it means something like “I am being sly,” and they’re using it a lot more. Kinda creeps me out, children having all that sex on the sly.

Luann, 11/28/18

It’s been five years since Josh announced his break from Luann, and despite a relapse or two it falls to me to see that this popular hateread gets the coverage it deserves. It’s a tough gig — how do you cover developments in a strip with the core principle “Nothing must ever happen?”

One way is to play stupid “what if” games. My favorite is, “What if all the designated villains were designated heros, and vice versa?” Gunther as a passive-aggressive weasel trying to sneak his way into Luann’s pants is a gimme, and Ma Gunther as his manipulative older double trying to sneak her way into Mr. Grey’s wallet isn’t much harder. Leslie (“It’s Les“) Knox is more of a challenge: I see him as the tough-but-fair drill sergeant trying to shape Gunther into something that will pass for a man. Sort of a “TJ and Brad” thing.

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Family Circus, 11/8/18

Ha ha, I love how smug that frog looks. “That’s right, buddy, you better back the heck off. There’s no way to be sure about my royal status. Unless you want to kiss me? No? You don’t want to kiss me? Guess I’ll be on my way, then. See ya, chumps!”

Gil Thorp, 11/8/18

Oh wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the Gil Thorp football season, huh? I guess it’s because it’s been super boring, with the month since we learned that Tiki is often late for mysterious sister-related reasons mostly taken up by two of Tiki’s less dim teammates slowly piecing together that Tiki seems unfamiliar with the major landmarks around his supposed residence and may not live in Milford at all. Anyway, today the Gil Thorp creative team apparently noticed we’re more than a week into November and we need to start wrapping this up, because suddenly we got a lot of exciting info, maybe implying that Tiki isn’t really who he says at all! An imposter! A changeling! A 32-year-old investigative reporter who’s writing a longform piece on America’s most mediocre high school football programs! The possibilities are endless and really quite cinematic, which makes it too bad that the other football season plot, the one about the irritating cineaste punter, is going nowhere just as fast.

Judge Parker, 11/18/18

Oh, wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Judge Parker, huh? Well, here’s what’s going on in Judge Parker: Judge Parker Senior is going to jail, finally.

Post Content

Spider-Man, 9/7/18

Oh, right, so it turns out the secret plan of the Golden Claw-Kingpin partnership is the classic “lure all the other crime bosses to a meeting under the guise of forming a city-wide crime alliance, only to use the meeting as an excuse to massacre your rivals” trick, which you’d think criminals would figure out, seeing at the other people they’re dealing with are also criminals! Anyway, today we learn that the site of this meeting is … the theater where MJ’s hit play Picture Perfect is running, except that it’s closed for structur[al reasons?] and doesn’t seem to have moved elsewhere, so how big a hit could it be, really? Long story short, the criminals Golden Claw and the Kingpin lure to the Mammon won’t be the first to die on that stage, if you know what I mean. (I’m referring to MJ “dying” metaphorically in front of an audience, since I assume she’s a terrible actress.)

Funky Winkerbean, 9/7/18

I’m not sure if Bull is supposed to be actually quite bothered that his record being broken and he’s just being manic and upbeat to cover it up, or if we’re just meant to understand that his grasp on lucidity is becoming more and more tenuous, but either way this is a knee-slappingly hilarious strip! “Starting to sound like a broken record!” Ha ha, polysemy!

Judge Parker, 9/7/18

Some dude just stone-cold getting his neck snapped while some lady looks on, screaming in terror? Sure, why not! It’s not your grandpa’s comics section anymore, baby! Unless your grandpa likes seeing comics page murders! Maybe he does. I don’t know his life, man.

Gil Thorp, 9/7/18

Wow, ouch for Tiki Jansen. Not sure who he is but it sure sounds like he sucks!