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Mary Worth, 11/24/17

Oh hey, it looks like the thing we all thought Wilbur was yelling about was in fact the thing he was yelling about: Fabiana and Pedro are locked in a lover’s embrace, or at least a very angry hug! Shoutout to Fabiana for really going in with the classic “we were rehearsing a play!” excuse, slightly modified for the venue. Anyway, I look forward to Wilbur learning that his angry declaration in panel two is based on an unnecessary dichotomy derived from a false assumption, since in fact there’s a tradition of cousin marriage in some regions of Columbia.

Judge Parker, 11/24/17

Oh hey, it looks like the warden of April’s prison is following shadowy CIA directives to make sure she meets a gruesome end behind bars! I’m not really sure what’s going on with the wavy-haired brunette in panel two. My guess is that as a hardened criminal she’s disgusted at being roped into the power struggles directed by “the man,” and is covering her nose to express her disgust at what she’s become. Even so, she can’t bring herself to actually do the warden’s dirty work, her attempts to punch April repeatedly swinging wildly wide of the mark.

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Funky Winkerbean, 11/14/17

Oh, hey, remember those comic book covers Darin inherited? Well, he’s decided to auction them off to benefit Lisa’s Legacy Fund! The comic book covers are incredibly valuable, naturally, I don’t think we even need to question that, even though the embittered artist who left them to Darin died in poverty, so probably the money they’ll raise at this big auction will finally put the Lisa’s Legacy Fund over the top and they’ll cure breast cancer. Anyway, while today’s dialogue is a real treat for fans of word-sequences that no human being would ever utter, don’t let it distract you from the colorist’s error in panel two that produced a nightmare mass of writhing hands sticking out of Darin’s torso.

Judge Parker, 11/14/17

Huh, is Randy going to become a prison-reform radical as a result of his wife’s imprisonment? Is he going to bring down the carceral state … from the inside? I’ll just point out that, while April has some justified beefs with the prison-industrial complex, I don’t see her questioning, say, the government’s employment of an army of shadowy assassins operating across a dizzying array of intelligence agencies.

Spider-Man, 11/14/17

Man, when I filled out that survey last month about what I wanted to see more of in future Spider-Man storylines and checked the box next to “Spider-Man walking and/or web-slinging into things, painfully and face-first,” I didn’t think I’d get results so quickly!

Mary Worth, 11/14/17

And heeeeeeeeeeeere comes the grift

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/30/17

Gosh, maybe if your strip’s main character is a weird tiny gnomish person who, unlike the other characters in the strip, looks like he’s half old man and half baby, and there’s never really any explanation of why … maybe don’t draw attention to that fact? Maybe don’t!

Dennis the Menace, 10/30/17

“So you’re tellin’ me you hate the fact that your body and mind are slowly but surely breaking down as you age, threatening to leave you a feeble, confused shadow of your former self … but you fear death?” Today’s menace game is extremely strong.

Judger Parker, 10/30/17

EVERY TIME APRIL LOOKS AT A PICTURE OF HER BABY

SHE HAS TO SHIV SOMEONE IN THE YARD

EVERY

SINGLE

TIME