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The Lockhorns, 3/20/21

I’ve never really pegged the Lockhorns as a religious pair — the only evidence I can find of them going to church is for a wedding, which Leroy talked shit about. And really, can you blame them for spurning the promises of a spiritual life? Think about how incongruous the thought of them praying before meals to whatever Creator has condemned them to their current existence: locked together forever in a semi-featureless void, never aging, never feeling more warmly towards one another, no way out. Surely their daily moment of silence is spent in fuming, inchoate rage — at their Tormentor above, for once, rather than at one another!

Beetle Bailey, 3/20/21

The little detail I love in this strip is the big smile on the bartender’s face. You’d think he’d be bummed that Sarge’s little joke is going to result in lower sales, tips, and goodwill in the bar tonight, but maybe he’s just a dedicated fan of cruel pranks.

Marvin, 3/20/21

Is … is “nose tissue” a thing people say? Maybe it is in the Marvinverse, where everyone thinks about pooping constantly, and wants to make absolutely sure you know that, for once, they aren’t talking about the other kind of widely used tissue paper (the kind for wiping poop off your butthole). Can you imagine if some of that tissue ended up in the washer! Ha ha! It would be extremely vile, and will also be the subject of next week’s Marvin.

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Crankshaft, 3/14/21

I’m not sure who over at Funkyco decided that Sunday strips are now going to be dedicated to the gang ruminating on their own incipient dementia, or what that says about their opinion of Sunday comics readers. I myself would describe this strategy as “insultingly on the nose.”

Panel from The Lockhorns, 3/14/21

The best thing about this panel is that the musician is sitting less than a foot away from Leroy and can absolutely hear everything he’s saying.

Beetle Bailey, 3/14/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because Sarge knows that people like Beetle and don’t like him, and it’s tearing him up inside!

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Judge Parker, 3/12/21

So the current Judge Parker storyline has veered back to ex-CIA assassin on the lam April maybe stalking her ex and their daughter, but mostly I wanted to show you these very good drawings of Randy just having a complete meltdown. It’s pretty fun, right? Pretty fun that this child of privilege is just utterly losing, as his bad decision to marry the daughter of an arms-dealing clan comes back to bite him in the ass, repeatedly? To borrow a meme from the kids, here’s how it started:

And how it’s going:

The Lockhorns, 3/12/21

I’m absolutely loving the idea that before he met Loretta, Leroy refused to make romantic connections with anyone he couldn’t contact toll-free on his landline. The customer service reps at major home and auto insurance agencies? The good people at Time-Life Books? The time-and-temperature lady? Just a few of the broken hearts Leroy left in his wake.