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Dick Tracy, 8/6/26

So it seems that Dick’s latest antagonist, the VPN-happy “Widescreen,” is in fact a nepo antagonist and the son (or something) of Splitscreen, an avatar of an earlier age of screen-based crime. Whenever you get a reveal like this in Dick Tracy, you gotta immediately turn to the invaluable Dick Tracy wiki where you’ll learn that Splitscreen is in fact a villain from the ’80s, that his known associates are “V.H. Hess” and “Maxie Beta,” and that his real name Ed Vio is an anagram for “video.” Makes you think! Anyway, at least Splitscreen had the dignity to wear a suit and tie, unlike his slob of a son. The decline in formality in screen-themed villains really says a lot about society, in my opinion.

Luann, 8/6/26

Oh, huh, this is interesting, because I always assumed that Luann … was already a full-time student? Her academic status is as puzzling as her relationship status????

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Rhymes With Orange, 8/5/26

Stale legacy strips like Hagar the Horrible (start date: 1973) still find tired tropes like “Oooh, what if a human were to form an erotic attachment with a mermaid???” to be edgy. New, cutting-edge strips like Rhymes With Orange (start date: 1995), meanwhile, will tell you that everyone and everything under the sea, both natural and mythological, is fucking everyone and everything else.

Luann, 8/5/26

Look, man, I’ve tried to get my head around the question of how we’re supposed to parse the state of sexual relations in Luann for, literally, the bulk of my adult life, but mere minutes ago in strip time Luann and Phil were unpleasantly tongue kissing in front of her mom and now he’s like, “What if we were roommates, with separate bedrooms, to save on rent?” and … I am nothing. I am defeated utterly. I could live a thousand lifetimes and still not understand the mysteries this strip puts before me.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/5/26

So far all the scams we’ve seen the Scam Twins pull off have been things like “busking but only pretending to play the violin” or “lying about being from the health department so you can eat for free at the mall food court,” so yeah, you could say that kidnapping a child would represent something of a “bigger deal.” The twins aren’t exactly drawn with what I’d call expressive faces, but I’m choosing to believe that Driver’s Seat Twin’s sunglasses levitated cartoonishly in surprise at this suggestion before settling back down on her nose in panel two.

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Luann, 8/1/26

Much as it pains me to give Luann some credit, and much as it pains me to say anything positive about the “Brad and Toni have sex in the shower” interlude, I will admit that it’s a positive step that the strip has finally moved beyond ribaldry and is now admitting “Yes, the couples in our strip have sex, like normal people do.” Or at least some of the couples! Because I guess Phil and Luann might move in together, but possibly in separate bedrooms, and Luann is like “Oh, huh, well, this is … not what I expected?” Very odd situation for college (or older?) age adults to find themselves in, but at least we’re back to the old sexually confusing and/or gross Luann scenarios we all know and love.

Gil Thorp, 8/1/26

Quite an interesting list of wedding guests vendors Gil has assembled: his enemy-turned-pal/employee Coach Luke is his officiant, his enemy-turned-frenemy(?) Marty Moon is his DJ, and his still-current-enemy Coach Gerads is, nonconsensually, his bartender. Ha ha, he’s wearing Groucho glasses as a disguise, what a kook! I assume that he murdered the bartenders Gil hired and, via a slow-acting poison in the drinks, has also murdered most of the guests at this point.

Hi and Lois, 8/1/26

It’s not clear to me if Thirsty failed to make his usual golf time with Hi because he’s passed out drunk so Hi has been assigned a partner on the course, or if Hi has decided to make a new friend because Thirsty is chronically drunk and unreliable, but this guy’s shocked expression in panel two shows that he has a lot to learn about Hi’s complex emotional life. A guy who’s playing golf … even though he hates playing golf? Who ever heard of such a thing!

Archie, 8/1/26

So in order for this strip to work, you have to imagine that Archie’s dad abruptly and without explanation told his family to pack, checked out of their hotel early, and now they’ve been driving in silence for hours until his wife finally got the nerve up to ask what’s going on and he replies, heavy lidded, “I’m tired, dear. I’m so tired.” Pretty chilling!

Shoe, 8/1/26

Biz, I don’t think you should be making a sly, flirtatious face at Roz as you explain that all your friends are dead! I think that’s going to make everyone uncomfortable, actually.