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Hey, everybody! I want to begin this post by paying collective homage to everyone who was kind enough to put some money in my tip jar while I was away, and for Uncle Lumpy and his cast of dozens of rotating banners for urging you to do so. Everyone who contributed will be getting a personal thank-you from me sometime in the next week, but I do want to collectively say thanks now before you all. I also want to thank Uncle Lumpy for just plain being an awesome pinch-hitter, and for making me laugh on multiple occasions when I checked in from my Undisclosed Location.

Anyway, before I get to the CsOTW, I need to approach one strip that I didn’t discuss today, but which held a very special resonance for me.

Luann, 9/6/08

Soooo … remember a ways back when I mentioned that I had been nominated for the Hot Blogger Calendar? Well, thanks the gratuitous ballot-stuffing on your parts that followed, part of my week off involved a bus trip to New York to get my picture taken. I shall say no more now, except to note that I was a lot more into the experience than poor Brad. More information as I get it, but: brace yourselves.

And you know who else was an official Hot Blogger? None other than Sally Forth scribe/Medium Large creator/all-explaining blogger Francesco Marciuliano!

This pic of the two of us was taken the night before the photo shoot. You can barely tell, but those are firemen on the fire escape on the building behind us, peeling big chunks of vinyl siding off of the building that my head is mostly blocking, because it was on fire … as a result of our hotness? Probably!

Anyway, take a moment to calm down and enjoy the comment of the week!

“The Funky-doesn’t-lose-weight plot is one of the most boring things I’ve ever witnessed, and I read Spider-Man.” –Tweeks_Coffee

And the runners up!

“Only a plugger would spend three and a half hours repairing a $9 toaster? I’m no economist, but if he managed to scrape $9 worth of Pop Tart icing from the inside it was probably worth it.” –gh

“Wait a minute! Alan used to be alive?” –Muffaroo-who-brunches

“My name is Margo Magee. You called me ‘li’l lady.’ Prepare to die.” –blueberrygrrrl

“When it came time to break the heartbreaking news to my wife, I tried this: Me – ‘There were some fraudulent charges on one of our credit cards. The bank wiped the charges and will issue us a new card.’ My wife – ‘OK.’ Hopefully this tip will help Toby with her terrible ordeal.” –Worthinator

“Maria! Jameson! For the love of God, DON’T REPRODUCE!!” –Mibbitmaker

“I’m on tenterhooks with Mark Trail. Hopefully the titular hero will show up, punch out blondie, and rescue the poor alligator.” –Bribaby

“And the lesson of the day is ‘There is a right place and a wrong place for heels.’ Take it to heart while Mr. Alligator does his part for our gene pool.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I’m thrilled that Toby deals with her fear of Ian being angry because she hid her credit card problem by hiding her credit card problem.” –Lithros

“Jeeze, look at Ian stomping his paunchy ass away there. He looks like Marlon Brando chasing a wheelbarrow full of Big Macs.” –jake!

“‘But the inch-long youngsters, once they hatch, have no family loyalty.’ Hey, Jack Elrod’s kids! Would it kill ya to call your old man once in a while?” –gleeb

“Pardon My Planet = Pluggers for Hipsters.” –Beatrice

“…the best thing about this strip is the Crimestopper’s Textbook panel, in which some weepy stocky kid has found where the sidewalk ends.” –commodorejohn

And let’s give it up for our advertisers, who are the very hottest.

• The Truth is Finally Revealed!!! From his bloody campaigns and his great friendships to his erotic affairs, Aias was admired by Alexander the Great as his mentor, true friend, and military hero. Even the women of Greece passionately adored him, but he was mysteriously removed from Alexander’s journal. Why?
• Josh teams up with MST3K alums! Enjoy MST3K-style ribbing of the weepiest Spider-Man ever — with Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and your very own Comics Curmudgeon!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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The Comics Curmudgeon 2008 Fall Fundraiser



Click here or above to support the Comics Curmudgeon. Thank you!

— Uncle Lumpy

Ah, love! Makes the world go ’round ‘n’ all, but its course never did run smooth — let’s watch!

Sally Forth, 10/2/08

Well, everyone feels good for Ted, of course, but let’s not neglect the opportunity this represents for Alice. She hasn’t.

Mary Worth, 10/2/08

This only seems to be a test of Toby’s trust and Ian’s forgiveness. Toby’s issues center on her own impulse control and Ian’s attentiveness: when she blurts out her secret during the first five seconds of their reunion, will he listen to a word she says? Mary’s issues, as ever, concern tactics, survival, and opportunities for fraud as executrix.

Luann, 10/2/08

Luann and TJ badgered Perpetual Tool Brad into overbidding for some skeezy pay-for-play calendar scheme. Today’s strip mocks itself, so I don’t have to.

Mark Trail, 10/2/08, 8/23/06

In Mark Trail, love rarely gets beyond, “More pancakes, please!” Could this time be different? Wetland-drainin’ cityfolk Sue and Charlie apparently have romantic history. But while Sue can still touch her cheek (or perhaps her ear), it appears she’s lost touch with her heart. Poor Charlie avenges the dual humiliations of sexual rejection and a dead-end career in a family-owned business on that innocent hallway Pothos. In the end, though, it won’t matter. It’s a hardy plant.

Hey, does Charlie look familiar? He should! Here’s Hoyt, the Chicken-kickin’ Beekeeper from the awesome Molly epic of 2006:

Hoyt is a kind of secular saint among Trailfans — he helped set in motion a complex narrative involving bears both pet and arrow-assed, Kelly Welly, mobs of bloodthirsty but ultimately lazy upright rural folk (an apparent Pluggers crossover), one-upsmanship on the Rain of Frogs from the Book of Exodus, and many other delights. For this, and after a meek apology, he was allowed to keep his hair.

We’ll see if Charlie fares as well.

— Uncle Lumpy

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The Comics Curmudgeon 2008 Fall Fundraiser



Well, Josh’s plan to hit the jackpot at Jeopardy didn’t quite pan out as planned. And those Lehman Brothers and AIG investments have been underperforming, too. So here’s another Comics Curmudgeon fundraiser — a twice-a-year event to help Josh maintain the naive delusion that he can actually make a living doing this.

Site stats show that most CC readers cruise by for a quick chuckle during the workday, while a determined few dig deep in the comments, wrangling out issues from Foob revisionism and Mary Worth‘s fashion sense to Middle English grammar. Either way, the Comics Curmudgeon delivers the comics we grew up with — in some cases, the comics Moses grew up with — in a way that works for this century. Isn’t that worth a couple bucks? I thought so!

Click the panel up top to visit the special fundraiser page and help keep the Comics Curmudgeon strong and independent. Thank you!

— Uncle Lumpy

Curtis, 9/30/08

OK, the “evil coach” is an oldie, but credit Curtis for thinking it through — sure, the Eastern-European stereotype is overdone, but the hairy tongue (!) and Santa suit give it a fresh look. But really, “dandelions”? “Dandelions”?

Six Chix, 9/30/08

Margaret Shulock — one-sixth of the ‘Chix’ as well as the writer of Apartment 3G — serves up a double dose of death this week. But this Death be not proud — he’s just a gangly, socially awkward, self-conscious fella who needs fashion advice, and probably a hug. I bet he’s the one who claimed Alan’s soul. And I bet Alan was kinda pleased by that.

The Phantom, 9/30/08

Ah, now here’s a villian of the old school! We last saw Wambesi terrorist and Phantom-nemesis Chatu (a.k.a. “The Python”) in August 2006, leaving a crippled helicopter for ol’ Stripey to ride to firey death. Didn’t happen. Surviving now sans minions in greatly reduced circumstances, Chatu worked out a mad scheme to spread Ebola virus using fruit bats — but Ebolified himself in the process. The Ghost-who-Cares will track the virus to infected gym mats in somebody’s hut, as the villagers cry, ambiguously, “How are you going to kill it?”

Luann, 9/30/08

Remember how Tiffany used to be the schemer in this strip? Look how far our heroine has come. Without mussing a hair or even fully opening her eyes, Luann excises Tiff’s last shred of self-respect, then sends her spinning into the competitive cesspool of underage porn. Um, that’s a left leg, isn’t it?

Herb and Jamaal, 9/30/08

Not necessarily evil-related, but a milestone nonetheless: the comic strip Herb and Jamaal became self-aware at 1:09 Eastern time, September 30th, 2008. In a stunning irony, the strip was instantly sued by the copyright holders of the words “Crunchy” and “Powdered.”

— Uncle Lumpy