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Mark Trail, 5/27/14

“Honey, when the bear was closing in on me, I didn’t fear for my own safety … all I could think of was you! I just filled my mind with a vision of your face, and I prayed, inwardly, with all my might, ‘O Ursicus Maximus, Lord of Bears, please call your servants away from me, and I promise that I will make a sacrifice to you out of this beautiful she-human. Spare me, O Bear God, and you will be paid back a thousand-fold in blood.’ Anyway, now I’m going outside for a little stroll, maybe down to the sacred grove that shelters the ancient Bear Altar … care to join me?”

Apartment 3-G, 5/27/14

Whoops, looks like in all the time Tommie’s been working for no pay down at the large animal cult compound, Jack neglected to mention his girlfriend! Carol refuses to address Jack with the “Doctor” honorific that his veteranarian status would seem to call for, but on the other hand she’s eager to make out with him even though he’s coated in cow afterbirth-goo, so they seem to have a good thing going on.

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Mark Trail, 5/18/14

According to Wikipedia, Jack Elrod has been involved in Mark Trail in one capacity or another since 1950. But only now, in one of his last Sunday strips, has he managed to live out his lifelong dream of getting hardcore seahorse pornography in newspapers across the country.

Archie, 5/18/14

Dear comics artists who forgot to submit their Mother’s Day strips in time: I have some good news for you!

Blondie, 5/18/14

Look, I’m just going to come out and say what we’re all thinking: this sounds like a really shitty play.

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Mark Trail, 5/15/14

As promised, we are at last being treated to a genuine wild bear fight, of the sort that happens all the time in the actual wilderness, as determined by me doing exactly zero research on the subject because this is super rad and I want it to be real.

Also super rad is Mark’s completely gob-smacked expression in panel three. It’s almost as if, even though he planned to lure this wounded black bear into Rex’s territory, he never really expected it to work. Is this the origin story of New Model Mark Trail, in which he realizes that he can control the beasts of the wild, with his thoughts?

Apartment 3-G, 5/15/14

Man, I kinda regret having shown you any of the last six weeks worth of Apartment 3-G, because if I hadn’t I could believably present today’s strip to you and say “Tommie’s taken on work as a trainee dominatrix at a rural BDSM dungeon — but is she ready for the job?”

Family Circus, 5/15/14

I was pretty disgusted by Jeffy’s lack of even basic science knowledge here about suborder Rhopalocera’s life cycle. But, upon reflection, I don’t think Jeffy should learn that a gross, squirmy caterpillar can eventually become a beautiful butterfly. Best not to get his hopes up, you know?