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Mark Trail, 6/1/18

Hmm, Mark is extremely circumspect about Professor Carter and this … lost temple, isn’t he? I mean, you can’t blame the guy. A few years back, some professor was so enthusiastic about this buried pyramid he’d discovered and Mark was just carried away by the excitement, and sure, he bought a share! Two weeks every year in a genuine pyramid — who can say no to that? Plus it’s an investment property you can sell for a profit later on! Well, it turned out this “pyramid” was just a double-wide in a “resort community” outside Sedona with a kitschy Egyptian Revival theme for the decor, and the pool in the development wasn’t even working. And there really isn’t much of a secondary market for timeshares, as he discovered! He’s been burned before, is what I’m saying, and he’s looking forward to learning more about this … lost temple, but until he gets a look at it, don’t expect him to get his wallet out.

Blondie, 6/1/18

Hmm, the question that’s about to become really important is exactly which kind of Cromwell Mr. Dithers just fired: a Thomas, who after years of faithful service to his sovereign was outmaneuvered politically and beheaded without trial? Or an Oliver, who raised up a New Model Army to do the unthinkable: defeat his king in battle and bring about his execution?

Beetle Bailey, 6/1/18

If Beetle Bailey abruptly became the story of a rogue U.S. Army sergeant funneling military weapons to the Animal Liberation Front, who used them in a string of violent attacks on cosmetics testing facilities and factory farms, I honestly wouldn’t be mad at all!

Mary Worth, 6/1/18

I’m sorry, if you’re not getting a little misty-eyed here, you have no heart to speak of and I bid you good day

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Mark Trail, 5/29/18

“That must be why she likes your son, who certainly isn’t human, and probably isn’t a plant or a fungus. Not sure about that last possibility, though, I’m not a scientist!”

Beetle Bailey, 5/29/18

I love Cookie’s expression of hooded-eyed satisfaction in the second panel. “Heh heh, at last, years of having a bookshelf full of books I never open has paid off, as I finally got to unleash that absolutely sick bit of wordplay I’ve been saving up for just this moment.”

Mary Worth, 5/29/18

This will almost certainly turn out to be a parade of nobodies brought in to sing Wilbur’s praises, but it would be really funny, to me, if they’re just planning on luring him to a third location where they can execute him, gangland-style.

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Mark Trail, 5/25/18

Wait, what’s this? Does Cherry have someone from her past who she’s nervous about seeing again? Does she have a past? Did she not spring forth from Zeus’s forehead to be Mark Trail’s asexual mate? Is this mysterious “Jim the PA” her mortal enemy, just as the iguana is the mortal enemy of the scorpion? I am very excited to find out! Chances of Mark punching out someone at a nice dinner while Rusty tries to flirt: increasing.

Dennis the Menace, 5/25/18

Wow, going from planning a germ warfare assault on the neighborhood to demonstrating embarrassing ignorance of the many convenient Great American Cookies locations in only a single day: truly some menacing whiplash going on here.

Gasoline Alley, 5/25/18

Ha ha, it’s funny because Slim may have suffered a debilitating head injury, but he’s afraid that seeking medical attention will leave his family destitute!