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Marvin, 7/21/11

So a few days ago, Marvin featured a strip that went something (I’m not even going to check the archives to get all the details right, that’s how much I resent thinking about Marvin over multi-day spans) like this:

[Marvin’s parents are looking at Marvin while he’s asleep.]

MARVIN’S MOM: Oh, Marvin’s dad! Doesn’t our awful poop-baby look adorable, when he’s asleep and not moving or making noise, or pooping? It makes me want to have another baby!

MARVIN’S DAD: [Eyes wide with silent horror]

I figured this was nothing more than another attempt to make a joke out of the fact that Marvin is such a loathsome baby that even his parents hate and fear him, and live in terror that they might bring another like him into the world. However, apparently it has set up the actual conception, incubation, and birth of a new Marvin-sibling, all over the course of only a few days. Did the Marvin franchise need shaking up to this extent? Eh, well, it can’t get any worse, so why not? (Unless we learn in a week or two that this seemingly major change was all dream. That will be worse.)

Funky Winkerbean, 7/21/11

Oh, man, when I analyzed Monday’s Funky Winkerbean, I obviously wasn’t prepared for the multiple layers of smugness we were in for. Les didn’t smugly display his superiority over his old professor; instead, he refrained from this act of petty taunting, so he could come home and wax smugly about his moral superiority. Kudos to you, sir!

Family Circus, 7/21/11

I’m reasonably sure that this week’s “Keane Kids trash Boston” strips are repeats from several decades ago, which would explain why the camcorder Big Daddy Keane is holding in front of his face looks so awkward and out of place and pasted-in-later-y. Presumably it was put in to cover up the circa 1962 Nikon F Photomic he was using in the original? Honestly it looks more like a canister that he’s huffing paint out of, and really, who can blame him.

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Mary Worth, 6/29/11

So, this might not be the most outrageous moment in Mary Worth history — nobody died in a fiery car crash, or was lured into a sex den or thrown bodily out of a rehearsal dinner — but it’s delightfully shocking all the same. Mary has decided to help Liza by finding an outlet for her persistent nature! And by “persistent” we means “psychotic.” Liza will be the kind of salesperson who repeatedly calls you to urge you to buy whatever it is she’s peddling, shows up at your work and home unannounced with already filled out paperwork so you can “just finalize that deal we worked out,” and eventually rifle through your trash to find your signature, the better to forge it and close the sale with your consent. She’ll be a millionaire within a year!

Marmaduke, 6/29/11

Speaking of aggressive salespeople, Marmaduke has done pretty well in establishing this magazine shill as threatening with only some sunglasses and a leer. Not that he’ll be trouble for long, as Marmaduke is going to eat him in a minute.

Marvin, 6/29/11

“Oh, and in unrelated news, we dogs have managed to develop bipedalism and opposable digits. Combine that with our powers of telepathic communication and you humans are totally screwed!”

Spider-Man, 6/29/11

“Oh, that’s right, I had to fire everyone at the paper, because of the Internet. Welp, guess I’ll update the blog and call it a night!”

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B.C., 6/13/11

You know, as much as I rail against the practice of keeping the same 30 or so comic strips in every newspaper in America, despite the deaths of their creators, I do understand why people like having them around. There’s something tremendously comforting in seeing the same characters, day after day, year after year, doing the same things. You get so accustomed to their rhythms that you pretty much stop questioning the strip’s visual conventions, even those conventions were laid down years before you started reading and you’re never quite sure where they came from in the first place.

Take the clothes that the cavemen of B.C. wear, for instance. I guess they’re supposed to be kind of a loincloth thing? At one point they involved a shoulder strap of some sort, but now they’re just a black strip around the waist area. Johnny Hart no doubt came up with the character design fairly early in the strip run and then promptly stopped thinking about it. However, now his grandson is in charge and is playing around with things, which involves forcing us to contemplate the fact that the cavemen’s dangly bit are on full display under these “suits,” which, thanks a lot, I think I’d like to go back to the unchanging nostalgia now.

Gil Thorp, 6/13/11

Ha ha, look at how angry Gil is in panel two! He may not have given a crap when sinister Hobart threatened to slash school budgets and lay off most of his co-workers, but when people start talking about his drinking problem and his inappropriate fraternization with students, well, that’s when things get ugly.

Slylock Fox, 6/13/11

This is pretty much one of the most hilariously depressing Slylock Foxes ever. “Sorry Max, your idea is flawed due to your fundamental inability to grasp basic thermodynamics. What? No, I don’t have a better idea. All these candles are going to melt and and this poor lady is going to go bankrupt! Well, we really should be going.”

Marvin, 6/13/11

While I can’t blame Marvin’s family for turning to illegal drugs to deal with the fact that they’re related to Marvin, I’d have guessed that they’d go for alcohol or other depressants, which would dull the pain if only temporarily. But Jeff clearly finds that coke or speed or something along those lines helps him cope, and who am I to judge?