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Fate, monstrous and empty — a whirling, malevolent wheel;
Well-being is vain, and always fades to nothing – how you plague me!

What goes around comes around in the Sunday funnies:

For Better or for Worse, 3/2/08

Years from now — perhaps at her wedding — you’ll wonder how she turned out like this: the string of pointless relationships she shed so easily. The marriage to some pasty nonentity, based on no more than habit in the vain hope affection would follow. The grandchild — no kin of yours — whimpering alone in the dark.

Remember this night. Your daughter does.

Marvin, 3/2/08

A week of “Laffs” from Mom griping about the trials of pregnancy; now it’s payback time for Baby. Although this “people typing jokes into computers” theme is getting awfully tired, the nasal syringe on the desk is a good sign: after years of poop jokes, Marvin is finally branching out into snot.

Curtis, 3/2/08

O Curtis, consider your life’s path — listen to Barry! Sure, it may amuse you now to mock these good ladies as they try to bring some simple joy into their lives and others’. But consider your future! You could end up like old Cedrick there, clowning to coax one more rattling wheeze out of poor Harry’s failing lungs. Or worse, like some assistant comic blogger hurling slurs at hard-working cartoonists who only . . . who . . . .

Oh, crap.

– Uncle Lumpy

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Funky Winkerbean, 3/1/08 and Sally Forth, 2/27/08

Even in a Leap Year, poor February gets no respect — cartoonists basically take the month off. Here we see young Maddie imagining February in the far future, while Sally remembers it from the distant past. At least March promises more fun, as a murderous Afghan rebel and a crazed United States Postal Worker plot against the skinflint owner of that nest of vipers, Montoni’s Pizza. And Sally? Go ahead and carve a chunk outta Ralph. Blame it on the Ambien® — no jury will lay a glove on you.

Marvin, 3/1/08 and Minnie Pauz, no date

A week of ham-handed single-panel pregnancy-themed Belly Laffs. A bad thing? Sure. But the worst thing? Apparently not!

Oh, you ladies and your hilarious reproductive processes! At least we guys can look forward to a month of prostate-themed humor in A Very Special Crankshaft.

Agnes, 3/1/08

Hmm. Rats!

– Uncle Lumpy

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Family Circus and Marvin, 2/27/08

Marvin and the Family Circus have apparently decided to keep hammering home these appalling running gags until we beg for mercy. Well, I’m officially begging. Please stop. Please?

Of today’s entries, I find the Family Circus more baffling and disturbing. It seems fairly unlikely that any normal child — or even a Keane Kid — would have the slightest interest in CNN’s resident deranged, babbling 97-year-old talk show host, or even the vaguest idea as to who he is. There’s also something unsettling about the sight of anyone — even a snowman — wearing suspenders but no pants; in particular, the fact that they seem to be affixed to his naked hips implies some kind of kinky piercing situation that believe me, you don’t want to contemplate really at all but especially in terms of Larry King.

Meanwhile, Marvin’s ongoing “Belly Laffs” horror has made the subtle shift from “You know you’re pregnant when you occupy more volume than usual” to “You know you’re pregnant when your mass increases.”

Funky Winkerbean, 2/27/08

“You know what else is expanding rather aggressively? The angle of my legs! Check out Funky’s Winkerbean, baby. You know you want it.”

Apartment 3-G, 2/27/08

By coincidence, Margo’s dialog in panel three is also pretty much the sum total of her foreplay techniques.