Post Content

Mary Worth, 10/11/24

Big news, everyone! Estelle’s beloved dead husband was a heroic cop, and in classic fashion he died just days before his planned retirement — not, in classic fashion, in some dramatic shootout, but from a heart attack, due to overwork. This is clearly Estelle’s trauma plot that explains why she finds Ed’s workaholism so triggering, which, boooooring. I do find the details interesting in terms of the “how old is Estelle exactly” question, though. I think we have to assume from context that Estelle was widowed years ago, since she’s subsequently had time to move to Charterstone, get elder scammed, and date and break up with and get back together with Wilbur multiple times until she finally got permanently sick of his shit. If someone joins the force young, they could retire relatively early, but still, Jimmy has to be at least in his mid 50s in this story, right? Was Estelle on the lower end of a problematic age gap? Where’s that trauma plot, huh? I guess that explains why she doesn’t spend much time hanging out with Iris and Zak socially, though I guess the fact they were present for probably the most embarrassing evening she’s ever had might have something to do with it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/11/24

I just want to remind you that Mud Mountain Murphy didn’t actually shit himself onstage at Lou’s establishment; he merely pretended to do so, so he could promote himself from opening act to headliner. But his simulated act of defecation was so lifelike that Lou vividly remembers Mud “making a mess.” That’s the quality of performer you want if you’re in the entertainment business, honestly.

Dick Tracy, 10/11/24

Imagine if you were sick with worry and guilt about your beloved brother, and you burst into a scene where he lies dead on the ground, and the first reaction from one of the cops there is to cartoonishly pantomime disgust at your B.O.? I honestly am really enjoying this new “Sam Catchem is a monstrous asshole” characterization.

The Phantom, 10/11/24

In other news, not-Elon Musk‘s robot rover has decided to commit suicide rather than listen to more ponderous lecturing from the Phantom. Most relatable thing it’s done, honestly!

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 10/8/24

New Dick Tracy story, everybody! It’s with a guest writer and guest artist but in keeping with the vibe of present-day Dick Tracy, it’s name-checking a beloved villain from the past, who despite being named “Arson” was a guy who used nitroglycerine to blow up safes. Anyway, I like the final panel, where Sam Catchem is grotesquely leering over Jay Scarborough’s corpse. I’m assuming we can’t see most of the vic’s face because it’s been hamburgerized by one to several bullets, and Sam is contemplating the limits of facial recognition AI.

Gasoline Alley, 10/8/24

Speaking of AI, who would’ve thought that Gasoline Alley, that most ancient and hoary of comic strips, would feature not one but multiple artificial intelligences? We’ve already met ART, the Automatic Robotic Tech-nurse, and today we encounter his (?) son (???), Arty, an AI doll, whose main purpose seems to be to compete against, and perhaps defeat in combat, evil magic dolls like Ida Noe. I say let ’em duke it out! I will be more than willing to pledge allegiance to the winner.

Gil Thorp, 10/8/24

While Gil is laid up in bed, the Mudlarks fight on, led by Assistant Coaches Martinez and Ochoa in his absence. Anyway, turns out Assistant Coaches Martinez and Ochoa suck ass! “I’m struggling out there, coach.” “Right, that’s because they know Coach Thorp isn’t here! They’re exploiting our weaknesses, especially our coaching weaknesses! Now get out there and win, or you’re personally failing Gil!”

Mary Worth, 10/8/24

Wait, did we know that Estelle was a widow? Did she murder Jimmy, because he didn’t pay close enough attention to her? I’m very much looking forward to this flashback, because I assume it’ll answer these questions, and I also assume it’ll take place in the ’90s and I want to see what the Mary Worth team thinks grunge fashion looks like.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 10/4/24

Look, Stell, you’re clearly a vibrant, attractive woman with an active romantic and sexual life. Nevertheless, you’re a woman of a certain age, with “certain” meaning “not young,” as evidenced by the fact that you fell for an extremely common elder scam not that long ago. There’s nothing wrong with being on the older side, of course, but it’s important to have some self-awareness and not try to deploy unfamiliar youth slang, OK? Take “ghosted,” for instance: this describes a situation where you’re seeing someone with various possible degrees of seriousness, or are at least gearing up to do so, but then they abruptly cut off contact with you and stop replying to your texts/emails/DMs/other communication attempts. It very much does not describe a situation where your fiance cancels on you for a social event at the last minute, but does so by sending you a text at the time explaining why he’s doing it. You used the word wrong and that’s just how it is! Mary doesn’t know any better, but the youth of today do, so please choose your words more carefully next time in case they overhear you. We would’ve allowed the use of “ghosting” in this context if Ed had died (for instance, by doing emergency surgery on a corgi while exhausted and accidentally slicing his femoral artery with the scalpel and bleeding out on the floor of his own clinic) and, desperate to still make the engagement dinner, he showed up as a ghost. That’s not the usual use of the term but I don’t think anyone would’ve given you trouble. But he didn’t do that either, he did the first thing I said (didn’t show up but explained why and then you saw him not long afterwards, which is also antithetical to the whole “ghosting” concept).

Dennis the Menace, 10/4/24

Ha ha, it’s funny because Mrs. Wilson is admitting the sad truth: she and George are just going through the motions, living but going no further, not experiencing the style and verve that make life worth living. It’s like it only took a few minutes of respite from Dennis’s low-key menacing for them to look the true existential menace square in the face.