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Mary Worth, 12/17/18

You know what we haven’t had in a while is a good Ian-Toby story! Pretty sure we haven’t checked in with their marriage since that time Ian made Toby pretend to cook dinner for his boss while she was trying to work on her art show so she briefly left him and had to lay low at Mary’s until Mary got tired of that and convinced her to go back. Anyway, today we’re learning how Toby has learned to describe her passionless marriage in a socially acceptable way, so I assume this storyline is going to be about some hot thing tempting her to stray, ultimately without success. On the other hand, the final panel implies that maybe it’ll be about how she killed him and made clothes out of his thick, lustrous pelt.

Gil Thorp, 12/17/18

Well, it’s another cinematic shot from above, and at least Mike Filion doesn’t look like a warped homunculus, but I’m having a hard time parsing what emotion we’re supposed to be reading from him here. Regret, at not getting to see Soto “pound” those banana splits? Relief, at getting away from the other players? Sleepiness? Is he just asleep?

Mark Trail, 12/17/18

Urgh, are these guys on a different team from Becky or what? Nngghgggngh, when is Mark gonna punch somebody?

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Mary Worth, 12/10/18

It’s been two and a half years since new-ish Mary Worth artist June Brigman took over the strip and we’ve seen most of our beloved major players at this point. Almost all of them have gotten what I would call aesthetic upgrades of varying degrees of subtlety — Mary has been glammed up most of all — but I think the improvements to Dr. Jeff’s boat are on a whole different level. This is the only image of it I can find in my archives, but y ou can see that it used to be a somewhat dumpy pleasure craft with a roof, suitable for tooling around Santa Royale harbor at extremely limited speeds. Now it’s a sleek cigarette boat, perfect for zooming out into the Pacific and letting the wind ruffle your hair, and if Dr. Jeff wanted to make a side trip to the coast of Baja to pick up some black-market pills that he can “prescribe” to his friends and neighbors, he can do so knowing he’ll be back at the Bum Boat in time for their 5:15 reservation.

Gil Thorp, 12/10/18

Let me tell you an Extremely Buffalo Story: in the fall of 2009, I went to Buffalo, New York, where I grew up, to visit my family. The coach of the Bills at that time was Dick Jauron, who had muddled through three consecutive 7-9 seasons and wasn’t doing much better that year. The day I arrived, a billboard on the Thruway near Ralph Wilson Stadium had been unveiled that simply said “FIRE DICK JAURON,” and that evening, the very top story on Channel 4’s local news was an exclusive interview with the dudes who had rented the billboard — and yes, it was just these three extremely Buffalo-looking dudes, with sweatshirts and mustaches, and when asked why they had pooled a not insignificant amount of cash to send this message, one of them looked straight into the camera and said, extremely sincerely, “Well, somebody had to do something.” And then, a few weeks later, the Bills did fire Dick Juaron. Sometimes, the system works! In hopefully related news, I’m extremely looking forward to this year’s basketball-season Gil Thorp storyline.

Funky Winkerbean, 12/10/18

Against all odds and good sense, we’re apparently going to be treated to even more of the “Funky’s dad is horny” storyline this week, and while I still overall find it distasteful I gotta admit that I didn’t see this twist coming, where Funky’s dad seduces Holly’s mom and then Holly and Funky become brother and sister. Awkward!

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Mary Worth, 12/9/18

Whoa whoa whoa, this is all ending way too quickly. I refuse to let go of the Mary-Libby magic. How will this pair be reunited? Will Libby destroy all of Estelle’s stuff and be exiled from her apartment? Will Libby escape from Charterstone with a laser-focused mission to kill and eat the man who separated her from Mary: Dr. Jeff? I need more cat drama, damn it!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/9/18

I like how Max is holding up that sock incredulously, like “Sly! Did you know we could be wearing clothes on our feet? I’m not even wearing a shirt! God damn, it’s cold out here!”