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Mark Trail, 8/4/18

Sorry I haven’t talked about Mark Trail for, like, three weeks, but the whole time has just been Mark and Doctor Carter doing lots of dumb in-jokes about Indiana Jones and Trilogy of Terror, which, snooooooze. That’s the “security system” they’re talking about, the dumb fake idol from the Trilogy of Terror movie. Anyway, the children have been separated from the adults now, which, uh, never presages bad things, not at all, but at least for the moment let’s enjoy these adorable tiny deer? things? I very much want a Sunday strip teaching me all the fun facts about these guys!

Mary Worth, 8/4/18

Oh, good, Tommy just “realized” that he totally fixed his various addictions by thinking of them as sins rather than psychological or medical problems! Everything’s going to go completely smoothly from now on!

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Mary Worth, 7/30/18

Oh, huh, so it seems that Tommy’s jailhouse conversion was specifically to Roman Catholicism, interesting! You can understand why he finds it an attractive faith, seeing as he seems to have wildly misunderstood the purpose of the sacrament of confession; apparently he thinks that if there’s something you should probably tell somebody in your life, admitting it in the confessional instead is functionally the same thing! I feel bad for this priest, who’s probably had to hear the tales of Tommy’s meth-dealing days, like, five times by now.

Gil Thorp, 7/30/18

Finally, the “spring” baseball plot is over, and now we have just a few short weeks for a wacky summertime storyline! Clearly it’s not enough time to top such classics as “Kaz gets a job as a rock star’s bodyguard” or “Marty Moon gets grifted at golf” or “Gil does a pro wrestling match for charity,” but it seems to involve the local kids getting into the latest extreme sports craze, RainCycling, so I’m excited to see where it goes.

Gasoline Alley, 7/30/18

Like many characters of color working as servants in fiction, Gertie has a sassy personality and not much of an inner life to which we’re privy. Today, though, we learn a little bit of how she passes her time in her off hours: with lots and lots of Wookiee porn.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/18

REX MORGAN, M.D., PRESENTS: TWO-FISTED TALES OF GETTING TO THE AIRPORT ON TIME

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Mary Worth, 7/26/18

Mary’s “I am aware” is pretty hilarious in and of itself, obviously, but it also gives me a great opportunity to remind you of when Mary first became aware of Tommy’s anti-social tendencies, when she smelled him smoking his marijuana cigarettes, through Charterstone’s apparently interconnected ventilation system:

Mary Worth, 9/12/04

Mary came over and was extremely passive aggressive about it, but it’s nice that everyone involved has let bygones be bygones! And really, Mary lives in a state where recreational marijuana is legal now and, thanks to Comic Book Time, at this point she’s at the younger end of the baby boom generation, so she’s probably pretty chill about that kind of stuff! Not the meth, though. It’s gonna take another decade or three for her to be down with meth.

Six Chix, 7/26/18

So the therapist is a chair? The chair that normally a (human, non-furniture) chair would sit in? And the patient is a chair? BUT the couch the patient would normally sit on is not an animate furniture-being. Or is it? OH GOD IS IT FURNITURE FOR FURNITURE, IS IT A LIVING FURNITURE-SLAVE, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

Beetle Bailey, 7/26/18

There are plenty of Beetle Bailey strips where General Halftrack is angry or confused or depressed, but the fact that he’s so very ecstatic here, like this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him, may be the saddest thing of all.