Post Content

Slylock Fox, 11/2/15

I don’t think we always appreciate how difficult it must be for a human in the post-animapocalypse world of Slylock Fox. Sure, we make fun of Count Weirdly and his bizarrely theatrical lifestyle, or Slick Smitty and his banal little grifts, but the truth is that they’re probably among those humans who have adapted most successfully to the new regime. If you want to know how life is for the average remaining specimen of H. sapiens, check out Weirdly’s unfortunate “assistant”: the tattered clothes, the unkempt beard, the wide, staring eyes that have seen some things. Presumably he got wind of a fellow human who didn’t live out in the woods in fear like, well, like an animal, pounded on the door of Weirdly’s castle hoping to be taken in and nurtured. Instead, he’s being put on display for the amusement of the animal media. Weirdly didn’t even give him a change of clothes, and once that smug fox reveals the scam, presumably Weirdly will blame him and cast him out again, leaving him to fend for himself. Sorry, friend, but if there was some kind of loyalty among humans, the world wouldn’t be the way it is now.

Momma, 11/2/15

I have no idea who this woman is that Francis is hanging out with, but I’m assuming that he and she were smoking a lot of weed before Momma came over and they’re real paranoid she’s going to be able to smell it.

Mary Worth, 11/2/15

MARY WORTH IS TELLING A NEW YORK CABBIE NOT TO TEXT WHILE DRIVING, REPEAT, MARY WORTH IS TELLING A NEW YORK CABBIE NOT TO TEXT WHILE DRIVING, DANGEROUS HILARITY LEVELS AHEAD

Post Content

Mary Worth, 11/1/15

As Apartment 3-G’s impending shutdown has shown, it’s a tough market out there for soap opera comic strips. Losers fade; winners adapt. That’s why Mary Worth is, right before our eyes, pivoting into the kind of action-oriented comic today’s readers crave. Olive is a young girl with supernatural powers. Today’s she’s only demonstrating prescience, but soon she might be able to move objects with her mind … or even kill. That’s why she needs Mary at her side to guide her to adulthood and keep her moral code intact. It will be a dangerous journey. It could go either way. But in Mary Worth, we’ll see Olive become a tremendous force of good, on the comics page — and, if we play our cards right, in a Netflix original TV series in the spring of 2017!

Crock, 11/1/15

The other day I was on the bus, and there were these two guys, one probably in his late 50s, the other in his 20s, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t know each other but were chatting in that way people on long bus rides sometimes do. I sat down near them in the middle of the conversation, so I’m not entirely clear on the context, but the younger guy was describing how his cousin (presumably around the same age) had committed suicide, and the older guy said, “Yeah, the Millennials are all weak-minded, I grew up in the ’70s when we were tough,” and I was completely flabbergasted. Anyway, it’s pretty common sport for anyone over 35 to shit on Millennials these days, and one of the great things about having comics like Crock written and drawn by very, very old people is to remind us that every generation was once young and irritating and viewed by its elders as worthy of unique and particular contempt. Don’t worry, kids, you’ll be old soon enough, and then everyone will forget all the selfie jokes.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 10/29/15

As these bad-ass criminals switch their combat-grade amphibious ATVs from sea to land mode, comics-reading children across America are getting an important lesson: just because you’re a part of a violent, sinister gang trying to recover stolen radioactive material doesn’t mean you should skimp on nautical safety! Check out those properly fitted life jackets, kids! Be like these guys, in certain specific ways!

Apartment 3-G, 10/29/15

Oh, snap, are we going to be entering Margo’s dreamscape? At last, an excuse to be in a featureless void! And if you need a spirit guide in your featureless void, why not choose your hallucination of Tommie, the most featureless and empty of A3G characters?

Mary Worth, 10/29/15

Sorry, Bobby and Gina! I know you love Mary so much you invited her to New York for your surprise wedding! Sorry, Shelly! I know you’re so close to Mary that she was your sole guest when you received your major award! Sorry, handsome Broadway legend Ken Kensington! I know your heart was bewitched by Mary’s charms! Sorry to all, but it seems that Mary will be spending her time in New York with a psychic eight-year-old and not any of you.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/29/15

The grim looks on everyone’s faces really sell this punny banter, if by “really sell” you mean “make abundantly clear that everyone involved is the victim of a cruel God and is being forced as some kind of awful punishment to say”.