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Mary Worth, 12/1/14

Despite Mary’s professed friendship for Hanna, she and her new beau were conspicuously absent from last week’s Thanksgiving feast. Apparently they spent the holiday at Sean’s assisted living unit, bantering about toast. “It’s the simple details that make all the difference,” Hanna says, pleased that the tasteless, pre-sliced white bread that Sean has pulled out of a plastic bag will be made vaguely edible by the toasting process.

Note that Sean has a top-of-the-line, four-slot toaster. He knows what the ladies like.

Dennis the Menace, 12/1/14

Having written a blog post more or less daily for ten years, I have come to have a certain degree of sympathy for the longrunning comics I mock, and to understand that not every day’s effort can be a winner: some days, you just sort of run with the joke you have and hope for a better tomorrow. And yet I don’t think that justifies pulling out a joke that was already ancient when it appeared in the first Bill and Ted movie 25 years ago, Dennis the Menace. I really, don’t. Do better.

Gil Thorp, 12/1/14

The t-shirt joke in panel three is probably similarly ancient, but I have to admit I kind of love it. I’m willing to overlook the fact that teams from public and Catholic high school rarely play against each other, in my experience, or that it’s rare for a football team to score 11 points. Any sports trash-talk that involves papal regnal names and Roman numerals is entirely acceptable to me.

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Mark Trail, 11/29/14

“If only this person with political/economic power could see how beautiful this natural area is, surely they wouldn’t despoil it!” is a common Mark Trail trope, and is obviously completely realistic: why wouldn’t the chief executive of a possibly publicly traded corporation write off a multimillion dollar land investment when they discover that nature is pretty? It’s possible, though, that Mark has something more sinister in mind. Doesn’t his smile in panel two seem a bit cruel? Remember, a couple of weeks ago Mark went swimming and encountered a bull shark … a “monster”, you might say. Mark is going to lure this sinister environment-destroying CEO to a bloody, horrible shark-death, is what I’m trying to get at. He’ll listen to the man’s dying screams, stare grimly down at the gore in the water, then call his masters at the Earth Liberation Front. “The shark ate him!” he’ll say.

Beetle Bailey, 11/29/14

Yes, at last, General Halftrack admits the troops under his control are completely outside the U.S. military command structure! Can we please get his treason trial underway now?

Mary Worth, 11/29/14

HEY SEAN SHE’S THINKIN BOUT YOUR HOT BOD JUST FYI

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Spider-Man, 11/28/14

Spider-Man, a superpowered hero dedicated to protecting New York, hopes his special psychic ability to detect danger doesn’t interfere with his plans to watch television tonight!

Mary Worth, 11/28/14

I remain resolutely pro-elderotica, but I will admit there are issues in such relationships. For instance, if all the bold-italicizing in this strip is any indication, hearing loss means that old people have to shout all their innuendo at each other.