Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 11/9/12

So, yes, as predicted, an innocent if somewhat ham-handed query about why the word “comic” usually means “funny” but doesn’t in the case of comic books has led to a week-long and increasingly self-important diatribe about the history of the medium and why it’s been forced unfairly into a ghetto where nobody takes it seriously, man (The question that was actually asked was answered fairy succinctly by webcomics hero David Willis.) Hat-bro has been allowed to occasionally say quasi-funny things this week making the point that, ha ha, this answer sure is going on for a while and is boring, but he’s now been silenced, and in today’s final panel the oppressive crush of verbiage manages to drain all color from the room as it reaches a critical mass.

Apartment 3-G, 11/9/12

Ha, so, Aunt Cathy, Evan’s mean girl aunt, is … running a publicity agency that competes with Margo’s? And Evan is secretly working for Margo’s agency as a mole? And he’s spiriting young starlets away to his aunt’s agency by convincing Margo that they’re rivals for his massage-y affections? This makes so much less sense than anything else I thought was happening, which is really something of an achievement.

Mary Worth, 11/9/12

Haha, I love Dawn’s wide-eyed expression in panel two, as she realizes she’s basically been given parental authorization to just stone cold make out with a bunch of dudes without having to worry about boring old “commitment” or anything. Of course, her new friend/love interest Jim is possessive and controlling, so I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear about her plans to play the field.

Shoe, 11/9/12

In world gone mad with ruthless and pointless competition, the Perfesser knows that the only winning move is not to play. That’s why he’s just going to sit in his overstuffed armchair with a beer, eating a pizza right out of the box, and staring at the TV with dead eyes until the reality show that is reality declares a “winner” he can get behind. Till then, he’s opting out of the whole thing. Where do you suppose the pizza box went between panels one and two? Do you think there are a bunch of other pizza boxes piled up there, wherever he threw it?

The Lockhorns, 11/9/12

Here … enjoy the greatest Lockhorns ever written.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 11/2/12

It’s disturbing to see Mary sprinkling down weird amoeba-blobs out of her hand onto whatever’s in that tray in the first panel. It’s disturbing to see Dawn struggle to hold up a bowl with two hands, as if it were filled with liquid lead. It’s disturbing to trace back the forearm visible at the right in panel two and realize that there’s no way it connects to Dawn’s elbow, which means that someone has broken into the house and has grabbed Dawn by the back of the head and is shaking her for unknown reasons. But Dawn’s new love interest being desperate to keep her away from water because she reminds him of his dead sister? The idea of him thinking, the first time they have sex, about how his beloved sister will never be out of his life again? That’s not disturbing at all! It’s human nature. We humans are an odd lot, if by odd you mean “capable of unspeakable perversions and psychic pain.”

Apartment 3-G, 11/2/12

I have fallen down on the Reading The Comics So You Don’t Have To front, because I have forgotten to mention that, sometime after their inappropriate workplace massage session was interrupted, Margo and Evan made out. There’s been no indication of what progress if any their relationship has made since then, and I’m going to guess that, based on today’s strip and a certain amount of personal experience, they’ve never really discussed anything and Evan just keeps trying to set up the same sequence of events that have led to smooching in the past. Don’t talk about it Margo, you’re just going to ruin everything!

Hi and Lois, 11/2/12

“And retro’s cool, right? Like this vest I’ve got on? Your dad is pretty cool? Please say that I’m cool.”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 10/31/12

“So, wait, Mary, you’re asking me if I’m ‘OK’ that my new crush is physically attracted to me because I look uncannily like his dead sister, who is dead, and also was his sister? YES OBVIOUSLY I AM OK WITH THAT!!! You know the thing that I dread more than anything in the world is being dumped, and if Jim loves me because I look like his beloved dead sister, why, he couldn’t ever stand to lose her again, could he? Come on, Mary, help me find pictures of her online so I can start dressing more like her.”

(Also, follow that link above to discover that the Great Dumpening that started this whole storyline happened in mid-May, which means that this joyride of Dawn-misery has gone on for more than six months. And not that it hasn’t been great, but … what do you think Toby and Ian are up to, you think?)

Judge Parker, 10/31/12

“What am I going to do with a chainsaw, boss?” asks the thuggish hillbilly minion. “You’re going to use it for its intended purpose,” replied his boss, a violent drug lord whose empire was under risk of exposure, “which is to say that you’re going to cut up a fallen tree so as to prevent damage to our friend and future business partner’s expensive and impractical automobile!” RIP CHAINSAW DISMEMBERMENT STORYLINE, YOU WERE TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE REAL