Archive: Mary Worth

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OK, so I skipped a day yesterday … so, to make it up, here’s a big mishmosh of stuff from the last couple of days, arright?

Get Fuzzy, 3/7/06

When I was a little kid, I used to think that white people were pink, in the sense that, if I were coloring and I wanted to color in a person who was supposed to be white, I’d reach for the pink crayon. Kinda weird, I know, but I also thought my father was black. (Hey, he has kinky hair and is really swarthy and I didn’t understand genetics, alright?) One day in first grade, this little girl who I had a crush on (to the extent that a six-year-old can understand what a crush is) decided she wanted to color with me, and we were coloring together and then she asked to borrow a pink crayon, and I assumed it was to color one of the people we had drawn, but she started using it to color in the background instead, and then I got upset yelled at her that she wasn’t doing it right, and so she left in a huff. First in a long series of relationships I managed to sabotage from the start. In retrospect, the fact the she herself was black might have had something to do with it. Interracial romance is tough, don’t let anybody tell you different.

Anyway, this may be why my all-time favorite Bucky-deployed anti-Rob slur is “Pinky.” This strip gets special props from me because it manages to use three different variants of the term in four panels.

Gil Thorp, 3/7/06

God damn, but Gil Thorp is awesome. I don’t know what’s wrong with you all that you can’t appreciate it. Where else would you see a high school basketball fan taunt a homeless teen by dressing up as a hobo? North Bend must have a strong drama department, with an emphasis on the Theater of Cruelty.

Mary Worth, 3/8/06

Yeah, she’s a pilot of sorts … the “sort” of pilot who knows how to “fly a plane.” Which is pretty much the usual “sort.” There’s only two possible motivations for Salty Cal’s ripped-from-an-infomercial line in panel two: either he thinks “pilot of sorts” is code for something kinky (and is thus in for a bitter, bitter disappointment) or he’s the first character in the history of Mary Worth who knows how to correctly use sarcasm.

Also, that little sign at the bottom left of panel one, which appears to depict a giant fish playing pinball, is the single greatest bit of incidental art ever to appear in this strip.

Dick Tracy, 3/8/06

I have no idea why this horse is dragging an unconscious German infantry mime through the snow here. I just think it’s funny that Dick Tracy has finally come to terms with the fact that his wrist-phone is no longer cutting-edge technology.

Marvin, 3/8/06

Ha, ha! Marvin’s grandmother thinks Marvin’s grandfather is fat! Oh, that kills me. Really kills me. It makes me feel dead inside. Is this what you have to look forward to after forty years or so of marriage? I can’t wait. The best part is the contrast between her smug smile and his look of utter mortification. I’m surprised she isn’t extending the weigh station metaphor and charging him.

Meanwhile, in Judge Parker, Ned has been weeping one slow-motion, gelatinous tear after another for five straight days:

Also, Rex Morgan? Still gay.

Oh yes, let’s.

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Gil Thorp, 2/25/06; Panels from the Phantom, 2/25-6/06; Apartment 3-G, For Better or for Worse, and panel from Mary Worth, 2/26/06

Is this the comics’ first prime number joke outside of Fox Trot?

Are these teasers — the latter acknowledging that no reader can be expected to have a clue as to what’s going on in the Sunday Phantom, the former being just flat-out cold — even better than Spider-Man’ Olivia-Newton John reference last year?

Has Margo, desperate for company now that her boss hates her and her roommates are snubbing her, gone and joined the Happy Hands Club?

Is it true that this bird you cannot chai-yi-ay-yi-ay-yi-aynge?

Psychedelic shock-happy bunny: Awesome, horrifying, or horrifyingly awesome?

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Panels from: Apartment 3-G, Rex Morgan, M.D., For Better or for Worse, Mary Worth, Mark Trail, 2/24/06

With apologies to Dusty Springfield:

The look of love
Is in your eyes
The look your smile can’t disguise

The look of love
Is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say

And what my heart has heard
Well it takes my breath away

I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you

How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you

You’ve got the look of love
It’s on your face
A look that time can’t erase
Be mine tonight

Let this be just the start
Of so many nights like this
Let’s take a lover’s vow
And then seal it with a kiss

Now that I have found you
Don’t ever go
Don’t ever go
I love you so

Have a romantic weekend, everyone. I hope it’s going to happen for you.