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Beetle Bailey, 9/18/10

This is a joke. I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way; I mean it’s got a setup that establishes our expectations, and a punchline and visual that gently subvert them. Sure, it’s Beetle Bailey and it’s about golf, but it’s professionally executed and there’s no denying it’s a joke. That, and we get to look at General Halftrack’s sweet pimp hat. Nice.

Crankshaft, 9/18/10

This, on the other hand, is Crankshaft. It starts out like a joke, with one of those trademark paid-by-the-word Crankshaft “setups” busting a bowel in panel 1 — maybe bricks are hard to draw? But there’s no twist, no surprise, no little epiphany at the end — just confirmation that Crankshaft’s bitter hostility is no match for his selfishness. And the same damn hat as always.

The Phantom, 9/18/10 (panels)

The Phantom, 7/29/10

Up top, the Phantom shows up dressed like a thug in the the middle of the night to interrogate the homeowner whose phone Diana used to call New York back in July, as we see down below. The terrified Rhodian reports that no way was he shooting at any white woman, and anyway he only used his little BLAM gun, not that great big BOOM one, no sir!

Mary Worth, 9/18/10

Four days listening to Hunky Doc Mike drone on about his dead absentee alcoholic vigilante failure Dad and poor Jenna’s itching to wrap up this “closure” claptrap and get down with some hott “moving on” action! Let’s listen in:

Mike: “I saw a man who wanted justice, and became obsessed with getting it.”
Jenna: “It seems knowing his reasons and weaknesses helped you forgive him. Do you want to take a walk?”

Mike: “He gave me life, but I never really knew him.”
Jenna: “You came through when it mattered! My place or yours? I think I might have a little wine left!”

Mike: “When he reached out to me, I saw what I had missed all those years!”
Jenna: “You helped him find peace! “It’s just down the street, and I’ve got a trapeze!”

Mike: “There was so little time, and so much I needed to say to him.”
Jenna: “You did what you could! Hey, maybe there’s some special thing you’ve always wanted to try but were too embarrassed to ask a girl ….”

Mike: “He taught me the lessons of his life, but died before I could thank him!”
Jenna: “Oh crap, Mary and Jeff just walked in — listen, just do me in the john, OK?”

Hey everybody, I’m sitting in while Josh is on vacation. Use bio@jfruh.com to contact me about any trouble with the site, spam, comment issues, etc. Thanks!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/25/10

Loweezy recoils in horror from this suggestion, as she knows all too well that her happy relationship with her husband rests entirely on a series of mutual deceptions.

Panel from The Phantom, 4/25/10

The financial services industry must have pretty low approval ratings if a glowering figure setting on a skull-bedecked throne might reasonably be presented as an anti-Wall Street avenger.

Beetle Bailey, 4/25/10

General Halftrack, it turns out, is the world’s least erotic blow-up sex doll.

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Phantom, 4/22/10

I know that there’s been an uptick in security measures at airports since 9/11, but I think sleepy Westchester County Airport’s decision to acquire anti-aircraft weaponry may be an overreaction to current threats. Where will this escalation end? Will any of us sleep soundly at night once Yonkers has nukes?

Judge Parker, 4/22/10

Kudos to new artist Mike Manley for continuing the Judge Parker tradition of having female characters vamp sexily while the usual plot tedium drones on around them. “Anxiety attacks? How erotic,” panel three Neddy is thinking, from the looks of it.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/22/10

“And anyone who doesn’t want to burn to death when I torch it for the insurance money has about three minutes to get the hell out.”