Post Content

The Comics Curmudgeon 2008 Fall Fundraiser



Well, Josh’s plan to hit the jackpot at Jeopardy didn’t quite pan out as planned. And those Lehman Brothers and AIG investments have been underperforming, too. So here’s another Comics Curmudgeon fundraiser — a twice-a-year event to help Josh maintain the naive delusion that he can actually make a living doing this.

Site stats show that most CC readers cruise by for a quick chuckle during the workday, while a determined few dig deep in the comments, wrangling out issues from Foob revisionism and Mary Worth‘s fashion sense to Middle English grammar. Either way, the Comics Curmudgeon delivers the comics we grew up with — in some cases, the comics Moses grew up with — in a way that works for this century. Isn’t that worth a couple bucks? I thought so!

Click the panel up top to visit the special fundraiser page and help keep the Comics Curmudgeon strong and independent. Thank you!

— Uncle Lumpy

Curtis, 9/30/08

OK, the “evil coach” is an oldie, but credit Curtis for thinking it through — sure, the Eastern-European stereotype is overdone, but the hairy tongue (!) and Santa suit give it a fresh look. But really, “dandelions”? “Dandelions”?

Six Chix, 9/30/08

Margaret Shulock — one-sixth of the ‘Chix’ as well as the writer of Apartment 3G — serves up a double dose of death this week. But this Death be not proud — he’s just a gangly, socially awkward, self-conscious fella who needs fashion advice, and probably a hug. I bet he’s the one who claimed Alan’s soul. And I bet Alan was kinda pleased by that.

The Phantom, 9/30/08

Ah, now here’s a villian of the old school! We last saw Wambesi terrorist and Phantom-nemesis Chatu (a.k.a. “The Python”) in August 2006, leaving a crippled helicopter for ol’ Stripey to ride to firey death. Didn’t happen. Surviving now sans minions in greatly reduced circumstances, Chatu worked out a mad scheme to spread Ebola virus using fruit bats — but Ebolified himself in the process. The Ghost-who-Cares will track the virus to infected gym mats in somebody’s hut, as the villagers cry, ambiguously, “How are you going to kill it?”

Luann, 9/30/08

Remember how Tiffany used to be the schemer in this strip? Look how far our heroine has come. Without mussing a hair or even fully opening her eyes, Luann excises Tiff’s last shred of self-respect, then sends her spinning into the competitive cesspool of underage porn. Um, that’s a left leg, isn’t it?

Herb and Jamaal, 9/30/08

Not necessarily evil-related, but a milestone nonetheless: the comic strip Herb and Jamaal became self-aware at 1:09 Eastern time, September 30th, 2008. In a stunning irony, the strip was instantly sued by the copyright holders of the words “Crunchy” and “Powdered.”

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Family Circus, 9/21/08

The only Billy-related Family Circus trope I like better than “Billy is an angry little jerk” is “Billy is a jerk and then gets his terrible comeuppance.” Where are the parents in panel one to prevent Billy from committing the ultimate birthday-related sin: blowing out the candles on a sibling’s cake? But Mommy is there to prove that revenge is best served with a scoop of ice cream: because the absolute rigidity of gender roles is enforced from birth in the ultraconservative Keane Kompound, she knows that the ultimate punishment is to force Billy to briefly entertain the thought of wearing one of Dolly’s hideous dresses. Billy’s heartbroken expression as he tears open the box, along with Mommy and Dolly’s looks of smug satisfaction, make for an excellent payoff.

Slylock Fox, 9/21/08

If you squint at the solution to this mystery, you’ll learn that we’re expected to convict Reeky Rat because the clock in his loot bag is only a few minutes behind the actual time. As if 5 o’clock only happens once and never comes ’round again! John Law is just prejudiced against Reeky because he carries his totally legitimately borrowed items around in a burlap sack. Well, that’s how they do it down at the trailer park, OK? They don’t have platinum-encrusted Kate Spade bags or whatever it is you fancy city elitists use. JUSTICE FOR REEKY!

The Six Differences panels offer a glimpse at the legendary underground film A Dog’s Life In Amsterdam.

The Phantom, 9/22/08

The not terribly interesting Sunday Phantom storyline just wrapping up here involved these tribesfolk, living on their traditional diamond-lousy lands, being held hostage by sharps from the big city before Stripey Pants helped them out. But this strip is notable for the last panel of the second row and first panel of the third, as they indicate that the title of this adventure in the Skull Cave Archives is “How the Phantom Got Filthy Rich From His Diamond Monopoly.”

Post Content

Crock, 8/25/08

The joke in this comic almost makes sense, but not quite. I suppose that the gag is supposed to be that anyone who could spend two hours talking on any subject must be “really smart”? Even though he’s just spouting lies or ignorance? Anyway, after I finally got my head around what the dialog was supposed to mean, I realized that the little boy is talking to a vulture, what the hell. The terrible carrion-eater is probably just going to lull the kid into complacency with his banter before pecking out his eyes.

B.C., 8/25/08

I wonder how Johnny Hart would feel about the strip he created featuring fewer incomprehensible jokes about Jesus and more goofy jokes about the munchies. I’m feeling pretty good about it, myself.

Phantom, 8/25/08

I managed to avoid the just concluded Phantom story pretty effectively, but now at last we’re getting to what the kids like: red-hot Phantom-on-Mrs.-Phantom-on-private-island action! Careful, O naked heroes, those palm fronds look itchy.

Update: I appear to have been nominated to appear in some sort of hot blogger calendar (page may take a moment to load), as has Ces Marciuliano of Sally Forth fame (yes, he has a blog, too). Anyway, you should vote for one or both of us, if you want to see us pose in our underwear in a calendar or something. Thanks to faithful reader Bookworm for the tip!