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Spider-Man, 1/29/16

Ah ha! I knew Dr. Liz Bellman’s introduction was meant to imply that there was something significant about her identity. Seems she’s the granddaughter of Betty Dean, who, according to Comic Vine, “played a large role in convincing Namor to aid America and the Allied Forces in the fight against Nazi Germany,” so I guess she only convinced him that some of surface men were not his people’s enemies, ha ha! Comic Vine goes on to say that “Betty would eventually be reunited with Namor and the two would engage in a romantic relationship,” and that her “powers” include “Attractive Female”, which, come on, Comic Vine. ANYWAY, I guess Namor’s Surface-Dweller Fever will probably save humanity again, or at least give Spidey enough time to regain his strength and run away.

Gil Thorp, 1/29/16

Speaking of soap opera plots I don’t care much about, over in Gil Thorp the basketball season plot is about Kenzie Hanley, a very tall and strong elite rugby player whose athleticism has earned her a spot on the basketball team but mostly as a hulking enforcer, as her actual basketball skills are lacking, demonstrated by an egregious airball from the foul line earlier this week. I’ve been so bored by this that I don’t even have any strips posted to demonstrate the fact that up until two days ago, Kenzie was white! But never mind this colorist mixup, because we’ve at last arrived at what I hope will be the hilarious heart of this storyline: Kenzie switching to Rick Berry-style underhand free throws. Will this start a craze of underhand free throws, with the usual gang of Mudlark idiots working to outdo each other in how awkward they look? We can only hope!

Family Circus, 1/29/16

Ha ha, how much do I love Jeffy’s facial expression here? It’s like he’s finally figured out that he’s not the dumb one.

Pluggers, 1/29/16

Pluggers peaked in high school and are 100% OK with that.

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Mark Trail, 1/26/16

Oh, hey, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the non-nature-related soon-to-be-violence-inducing aspects of this bat plot in Mark Trail, but there are a couple of dodgy characters we’ve seen skulking around who are coyotes, not in the sense of Canis latrans, but in the metaphorical sense of criminals who smuggle migrants over the southern U.S. border. Anyway, Carina hasn’t had much to do in this plot yet but I’m happy to see her taking on the role of Person Who Tries And Fails To Deploy Metaphorical Language While Mark And Gabe Natter On About Nature Facts.

Mary Worth, 1/26/16

Sometimes I complain about Mary Worth plots dragging on, but I could literally watch Mary repeatedly shoot down John’s advances for weeks and weeks. “We have to make the most of what we’re given, John, especially when it comes to time spent in my radiance. You’ve been allowed to bathe in that sweet Worthian glow for several weeks of your life, more than billions of other unfortunate souls could ever hope for. Shouldn’t you be spending your time quietly contemplating how fortunate you’ve been?”

Pluggers, 1/26/16

Little bit about me: as I scrolled down the comics page, after I saw this panel but before I got to the caption, I muttered to myself, “Please let Gerald be her husband’s ex-boyfriend, please let Gerald be her husband’s ex-boyfriend.”

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Pluggers, 1/14/16

I’m not sure what the context would be for anyone, even this plugger, to buy a new DVD player in the year 2016 — maybe he finally put in a disc into the old one when there was already one in there one too many times — but I do like the way the letters seems wobbly in his word balloon, really conveying his sense of desperation. “Please, son, you gotta tell me how to hook this thing up. I got all these old westerns and All In The Family episodes, I already switched from VCR tapes to these discs, I’m not switching to iTunes or whatever they have now. I don’t even know what an iTunes looks like! That neighbor kid who used to do my computer stuff won’t talk to me because I put too many politics memes on his Facebook wall! You gotta help me!”

Mark Trail, 1/14/16

Haha, is it a good idea, Gabe? Is it an idea you in fact suggested to him literally two sentences earlier in this very conversation? How dumb do you think we are exactly, Gabe?

Wizard of Id, 1/14/16

Oh, hey, let’s check in with the Wizard of Id! What’s going on over there? Oh, they’ve introduced a new character? And he’s a muscular, hornèd demon from the depths of hell? And the human ladies want to have sex with him? Let’s never check in with the Wizard of Id again.