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Dick Tracy, 4/27/19

Usually a week-sized chunk is the smallest unity of plot for a continuity strip, but Dick Tracy wrapped up its gym teacher murderer plot around about Thursday, so why not use the remainder of the week to keep us up to date on the Vitamin Flintheart/Kandikane May-December romance, which is definitely a storyline that we all care about? A couple days is all we can spare on the miracle of life, though, because a Minit Mystery awaits! (I will not be covering the Minit Mystery, because zzzzzzzzz.)

Mark Trail, 4/27/19

Congrats to Mark: based on his pensive facial expression the final panel here, it looks like he’s finally learned how to have thoughts without verbalizing them. I’m curious as to whether those thoughts are along the lines of “This is an old man’s folly, I hope Doc isn’t too embarrassed when it doesn’t pan out” or if they’re more like “I don’t trust JJ at all! I bet I’m going to have to punch him soon!”

Pluggers, 4/27/19

Once pluggers hit a certain age, they stop even pretending that they have any interest in reading.

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Dick Tracy, 4/21/19

Were you hoping we were going to find out what made “The Professor” tick? Did you think that there must be an interesting story behind an apparently successful sports columnist whose sense of professional pride led him to kill a series of gym teachers? Were you intrigued to learn more about the whole psychological deal that led him to obsess over his nickname? Well, too bad, because Dick pretty much figured out who he was right away and then gunned him down in an alley. I guess “The Professor” should’ve gotten his Ph.D. in marksmanship, so he could have at least winged Dick on the way out, or maybe in English, so that he didn’t embarrass himself by wildly misusing the word “ironic” as he expired.

Pluggers, 4/21/19

Wait, is this the first instance in history of pluggers being depicted as snobs? There are of course no channels on which programming is introduced by random drunk dudes wearing sweaty tank tops, but if there were, they would be immensely popular, and rightfully so.

Gasoline Alley, 4/21/19

Today’s Gasoline Alley is a cruel bait and switch because it allowed us to believe right up to the final panel that Rufus, one of the most irritating characters in an irritating strip, was dead.

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Hagar the Horrible, 4/20/19

This is one of a continuing series of strips that tries to situate our Viking heroes in the timeline of the Norse conversion to Christianity. Today, we learn that Hagar has sort of bought into the new religion, but mostly understands it on a fairly superficial level, which can be easily manipulated.

Pluggers, 4/20/19

Pluggers … aren’t English? That’s more or less what I’m getting from this panel, and, look, if there’s one thing I knew about pluggers before I even looked it, it was that pluggers aren’t English.