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Dick Tracy, 4/21/19

Were you hoping we were going to find out what made “The Professor” tick? Did you think that there must be an interesting story behind an apparently successful sports columnist whose sense of professional pride led him to kill a series of gym teachers? Were you intrigued to learn more about the whole psychological deal that led him to obsess over his nickname? Well, too bad, because Dick pretty much figured out who he was right away and then gunned him down in an alley. I guess “The Professor” should’ve gotten his Ph.D. in marksmanship, so he could have at least winged Dick on the way out, or maybe in English, so that he didn’t embarrass himself by wildly misusing the word “ironic” as he expired.

Pluggers, 4/21/19

Wait, is this the first instance in history of pluggers being depicted as snobs? There are of course no channels on which programming is introduced by random drunk dudes wearing sweaty tank tops, but if there were, they would be immensely popular, and rightfully so.

Gasoline Alley, 4/21/19

Today’s Gasoline Alley is a cruel bait and switch because it allowed us to believe right up to the final panel that Rufus, one of the most irritating characters in an irritating strip, was dead.

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Hagar the Horrible, 4/20/19

This is one of a continuing series of strips that tries to situate our Viking heroes in the timeline of the Norse conversion to Christianity. Today, we learn that Hagar has sort of bought into the new religion, but mostly understands it on a fairly superficial level, which can be easily manipulated.

Pluggers, 4/20/19

Pluggers … aren’t English? That’s more or less what I’m getting from this panel, and, look, if there’s one thing I knew about pluggers before I even looked it, it was that pluggers aren’t English.

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Sam and Silo, 4/19/19

Sam and Silo is a strip I’ve only recently started reading and hadn’t even really heard of before that, so it’s new to me, but I always kind of assumed what we were reading were repeats — either along the lines of Crock, where the syndicate acknowledges the strip ended long ago but keeps sending out reruns to placate the trufans, or along the lines of the Family Circus or Blondie, which are ostensibly still being created anew every day but reruns keep being submitted because who cares, honestly. Today, however, I was horrified to learn that Sam and Silo is still being produced today, and that the Sam Silo creative team has thoughts on Donald Trump, and that those thoughts are that Donald Trump is horny.

Mary Worth, 4/19/19

Wow, congrats to “Arthur” for not just taking Estelle’s ten grand and then peacing out, but going for another payday! He’s running a Spanish Prisoner scam, with Arthur himself as the prisoner! Will Estelle fall for it? She already has her standard grocery bag ready in preparation for his arrival! That baguette and celery isn’t going to eat itself!

Pluggers, 4/19/19

Pluggers has, in a general sense, been ripping off Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Redneck” bit for years, but I think it’s sad to see that they’ve now succumbed to the entreaties of lots of pluggers coast to coast and have chosen to rip it off directly.