Archive: Pluggers

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Spider-Man, 10/3/18

I know, I know, I make fun of ol’ Spider-Man a lot, but one way you know he really is a top-tier hero is that he has various powers, admittedly all based on a vaguely spider-centric theme. Like he shoots spiderwebs and he’s spider-strong and and he’s spider … sensible? You get it. Admittedly, none of his powers are helping him out in the very specific predicament he’s found himself in right now, but consider his would-be rescuer Iron Fist, whose sole power is punching. Punching with a fist … of iron, I guess. He’s gonna punch Spidey out of his problems, just you wait and see. (I haven’t watched the Iron Fist Netflix show or read any of his other comics, so if you feel like letting me know what the real scoop is, please let me implore you not to bother, I enjoy my studied ignorance, thanks.)

Hagar the Horrible, 10/3/18

I am charmed by how completely devastated Helga looks in the second panel here. We know that fancy sit-down restaurants exist in the Hagarverse, so I have to assume that the The Horribles attempted to go to one of those, but tragically miscalculated. Since Helga has always been depicted as the more civilized half of the pair, I assume she picked this place out, and is very sad to have to kill her own food, once again.

Pluggers, 10/3/18

My favorite kind of Pluggers submission comes from “Lots of pluggers everywhere” or, in this case, “Lots of pluggers coast to coast,” just in case you smug elitists thought the coasts were plugger-free. (Panama City, home of the official Pluggers P.O. Box, is located in the Florida Panhandle, which is strictly speaking on a coast, for instance.) Anyway, there are lots of pluggers who think it’s hilarious that you big-city liberals are going out and spending a whole $30 on a paper shredder when you could just spend way too much time tearing up paper by hand, letting little bits get all over the rug, and eventually lose interest and do a half-assed job and not actually make it difficult for identity thieves! Ha ha, I guess pluggers have shown all of us what’s what, again!

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The Lockhorns, 9/29/18

Congrats to the syndicate colorists who successfully researched and reproduced the New York Jets’ team colors in this panel! Also, since the Lockhorns feel like a very Long Island family to me, Leroy’s fandom makes sense, geographically and (I can say this as a similarly long-suffering Bills fan) spiritually. Anyway, my main point here is despite the best stabs at accuracy from everyone involved, Leroy still looks like Mario’s brother Luigi, which is fairly comical and probably not helping the Jets in their quixotic quest for a winning 2018 season.

Pluggers, 9/29/18

Despite appearances, this isn’t an old man looking forward to some wholesome quality time with his grandson. That’s the smile of a skillful Monopoly shark who’s finally gotten to the stage of the grift when he says, “Say, why don’t we try betting some big money on this one, champ?”

Family Circus, 9/29/18

“Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets — I just wish it weren’t on a weekend, O Lord.” I wouldn’t have called it in advance, but seeing a St. Augustine/Taxi Driver mashup in the Family Circus just feels right.

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Mark Trail, 9/19/18

Remember that time Rusty accidentally took some pictures of a couple of bank robbers laying low (?) at a local cafe, and then they offered to buy his camera and when he balked at that they just grabbed the camera and threw money at him? Anyway, if you look at that camera it was obviously from 1953, which means he’s not super up on modern photo-taking technology and it’s thus not surprising that he has no clear idea what he’s supposed to do with his phone as he and Mara surreptitiously try to gather more information on their suspect. I mean, phones are for making phone calls! And who’s he supposed to call? Mark? The police? The library, to get information about Mayan artifacts? You’re not making any sense, Mara!

Beetle Bailey, 9/19/18

We all have a good laugh about not know what Beetle’s eyes look like because he never takes off his cap, but having now seen the weird fleshly lobe that normally lurks under General Halftrack’s hat and apparently flops grotesquely down over his eyelids when he removes it, I for one demand that we remain protected from whatever body horror lurks on Private Bailey’s skull.

Pluggers, 9/19/18

Look, kid, you might not get why pluggers had to aid and abet the Indoensian genocide in the late ’60s, but just trust us: sometimes you gotta kill a million people, for freedom and America, OK?