Post Content

So much to cover from this weekend’s developments!

In Mary Worth, Ian demonstrated that the hot air that keeps his chest puffed up is of a sufficient pressure to withstand Toby’s feeble pounding.

In Gil Thorp, somebody admired somebody else’s shapely buttocks.

Rex Morgan, M.D., proved that even sinister poverty-stricken skanks recognize high-quality salami when they see it.

In Mark Trail, we learn that Mark’s wildlife-identification skills may not have been all that he made them out to be.

And in Apartment 3-G, we discover that Margo first reaction to the disappearance of one of her roommates is “more food for me”…

…and that, against all odds, the Professor is getting more action than anyone else in this strip.

But still, I think the most important events this weekend happened in Judge Parker.

Judge Parker, 9/29-10/1/06

So we all knew that Reggie Black’s “family values”-based campaign against the mysteriously single, suspiciously well-groomed, and blatantly porn-star-named Randy Parker would be hilarious. What we didn’t know was that it would be a full-on frontal attack on heterosexuality itself. After all, the strip seems to be saying, any woman you marry will just turn into a tubby, emotionally abusive drunken lout who, if not for the 80s-vintage glasses and earrings, resembles nobody so much as Brent Raptor’s mom. And if that’s where the straight lifestyle leads, gentlemen, wouldn’t we all be better off in the company of men?

Judge Parker, 10/2/06

On Monday, meanwhile, the strip posits a related thesis: that heterosexuals should not be allowed to perform makeovers.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/27/06

Well, well, well. We see how little time it takes for the murderous co-conspirators to turn on one another. Shockingly, it’s supposed know-it-all Mary herself who’s deepest in denial. I love the way that the dialogue says “reasoned exchange of views” but the body language says “impending martial arts duel.” I’ve warned Toby about angering Mary before; here the Meddling One looks like she’s going right for the eyes as her first move — a gutsy choice.

Apartment 3-G, 9/27/06

I’m not sure what’s the most important fact to be gleaned from this strip: that Margo never gets drunk at business meetings, or that she always gets drunk on dates.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/27/06

Oh, she’ll be stuck at the DMV all day? Someone here finds that pretty hilarious. Rex Morgan: Husband. Father. Doctor. Asshole.

Post Content

Luann, 9/21/06

How much of a loser is Brad DeGroot? Well, I think it’s safe to say that he doesn’t exactly have a strong internal sense of interior design, so his enthusiasm for the house must be based entirely on its present decor. And since this has been Mrs. Horner’s house for about ever, we can assume that it’s done up more or less like a home in a TDIET panel. (And let’s say nothing of the old lady smell.) This, then, is Brad’s dream crib. “Oh, the textured olive-green rug in the living room really goes nicely with the matching green glass chandelier, and … ooh, look! Hummels!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/21/06

Boy, I’m beginning to see why Rex might want to find comfort in the arms of another. Hmmm, you were held hostage at gunpoint for the better part of an afternoon? BORRR-ing! But wait! I have to make a few phone calls to my credit card companies? DAMN YOU, MYSTERIOUS PURSE-SNATCHER! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL! June’s so angry she appears to be transforming into a Bratz™ doll in panel three.

So, where do you all think the Rex Morganians are going with this? My guess: Identity theft! Proving once and for all that June Morgan is no plugger.

Marmaduke, 9/21/06

I couldn’t tell you why, exactly, but this image is for me by far the most unsettling one in the comics today. I suppose that’s supposed to be a trap door (that Marmadue opened from the inside?) but to me it looks like an arbitrary chunk of ceiling that’s been mysteriously removed so that the sinister Great Dane can just stare down at his owners with his huge, soulless eyes.