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The Lockhorns, 4/14/22

Really loving Loretta’s expression here. Instead of starting a sentence to sound like a compliment but twisting it into a cruel taunt by the end, as is his wont, Leroy has instead simply started a sentence to sound like a compliment only to use it as a springboard for some dumb bit of wordplay he thought up during dinnertime’s customary icy silence, and frankly, she can’t figure out how to feel about that. With the cruel taunt, at least she knows he’s thinking about her.

Marvin, 4/14/22

The phrase “social distancing” rocketed to the top of the public’s mind roughly two years ago in the opening stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, and I don’t know what possibility is sadder: that it took the Marvin creative team that much time to come up with the extremely terrible “smell distancing” variation (it doesn’t even have the same number of syllables, Jesus Christ) or that they came up with it right away but only now have decided that it’s no longer “too soon.”

Judge Parker, 4/14/22

Hey, remember the “April hides out with her family” plotline in Judge Parker that was so boring that I barely ever mentioned it on this blog, which exists entirely to crack wise about the boring antics in the world comic strips? Well, apparently within the Parkerverse it’s was so exciting that it’ll merit building a whole season of streaming TV around it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/14/22

You know what is exciting, for the moment? The current Rex Morgan, M.D., plot! Ha ha, goading a street tough into saying “What’re you going to do — hit me with that broom?” and then immediately hitting him with that broom is a very funny bit and I approve. Mind you, it doesn’t look like our hero’s hitting him particularly hard, but in his defense he is nursing a shoulder injury.

Shoe, 4/14/22

OH MY GOD THERE ARE BIRD JEWS EVERYBODY

JEWS

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/22

Ahh, we have now discovered what type of superhero Rex’s patient is pretending to be: the fancy kind! What’s it to him, ruffian? The man is wearing a cravat! Clearly he’s an important gentleman and is fully authorized to pose car-ownership questions to all and sundry! Stand down, you cur!

Gil Thorp, 4/11/22

The contours of the spring Gil Thorp storyline are taking shape: tennis star Charis (?) is dating baseball trivia nut Eli “E” “Scooter” Borden. Is it possible he loves baseball trivia … too much? More than he loves his tennis star girlfriend or not being called “Eli”? Stay tuned!

Gasoline Alley, 4/11/22

“Why is Dick Tracy still published in newspaper comics sections?” you’ve probably asked yourself, repeatedly. Well, today’s Gasoline Alley has the answer: the older female demographic that makes up an important part of the comics audience is extremely horny for him. The mystery of why Gasoline Alley is still published in the newspaper remains unsolved, but they’re going to do a whole plotline with Dick Tracy in it, just to be on the safe side.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/10/22

Oh, man, big shoutout to Rex Morgan, M.D., for coming up with a plot I never saw coming: Dr. Morgan’s latest patient is a wanna-be superhero, but the old-timey kind, who wears a dashing overcoat and a trilby rather than some gauche skin-tight circus costume, and also he doesn’t have superpowers! Anyway, I have to admit that I’m intrigued by a storyline that’s going to outline the consequences of some light comics-themed vigilantism, both medical (rotator cuff injuries) and nonmedical (getting arrested).

Curtis, 4/10/22

One of my ongoing quests is to make sure that everyone understands that, as the father of an 11-year-old, Greg Wilkins is Gen X at oldest and may well be a Millennial. He would’ve grown up listening to that “rap junk” he despises so much and he also has been using computers his whole adult life and would definitely know what the extremely basic sets of initials on internet posts discussed here stand for. Now, would he be puzzled by TikTok? Probably. Would I enjoy a series of strips where Curtis explains various TikTok cultural phenomena to his father? Almost certainly. Am I going to launch a GoFundMe campaign to pay Ray Billingsly whatever it takes, including a research budget, to produce such a series in time for Kwanzaa this year? Stand by while I consult with my lawyer.

Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/10/22

I mean, it seems likely that Snuffy has screwed up at some point in a way that resulted in an E. coli outbreak, so Loweezy’s question is on point.