Archive: Shoe

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Gil Thorp, 7/13/21

It’s summertime in Milford, everybody! Is this the year we’re going to get a wacky summer storyline that isn’t about golf? Maybe! We definitely are going to get a wacky summer storyline about a beloved character from the past: Heather Burns, who you might remember as the girl who convinced a professional basketball player to get a master’s degree in history, possibly one of the worst pieces of advice I’ve ever seen given and I read the Mary Worth where Mary told a woman that if she didn’t like her past she should just remember it differently. Anyway, I can’t wait to see what Heather learned in Iowa (possibly after taking out tens of thousands of dollars in loans to get an MFA in creative writing) that will definitely help her career as a poorly paid writer for a dying small-town daily newspaper.

And in the other plot, we have … well, golf, I guess! At least one guy’s wearing a dumb hat, though. Can’t wait to see what antics this hat dude gets up to!

Hi and Lois, 7/13/21

Speaking of golf, I know it’s a rule that legacy cartoonists have to spend the entirety of each and every workday absolutely consumed with thoughts of all the golf they’re going to play when they’re finally done drawing cartoons for the day, but I think they’re supposed to actually come up with a punchline before they head out to the links, sorry guys.

Shoe, 7/13/21

[don’t get mad don’t get mad don’t get mad] IF YOU THINK HE TALKED FOR TOO LONG WHY ARE YOU MAD THAT HE TALKED SO FAST, WOULDN’T THAT HAVE MADE THE WHOLE THING GO QUICKER?????? [aw crap I got mad]

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Shoe, 7/9/21

A few weeks ago, faithful reader Tabby Lavalamp raised questions in a COTW runner up about why the notoriously heard-hearted Shoe would accompany the Perfesser on a tender-hearted errand. It stuck with me and was definitely the first thing I thought about today, as Shoe has not only accompanied his employee to the latter’s uncle’s grave (signs of multigenerational newphewism?), but has brought a bouquet of flowers along as well. Anyway, the reason Shoe actually goes along on these trips is that there needs to be another bird-person present so that the exchange of dialogue that creates these joke-like utterances can happen, but today’s strip did make me wonder if he’s actually there as part of his journalistic mission. There isn’t a lot of news in Treetops and anything sensational could make a good story that would get people sharing links to treetopstattler.bird on Facebook, and he’s always had a gut feeling that there was more to this uncle business. So the guy died in some unexpected and perhaps shocking way due to a terrible mistake he made, huh? Sounds interesting. Putting that gruesome tale into the newspaper might be a cruel thing to do one of the paper’s longest-suffering employees, but don’t let the flowers fool you: Shoe’s no softie.

The Lockhorns, 7/9/21

Meanwhile, it looks like the Lockhorns’s Featured Brands program is off to a great start! Congrats to Ann Taylor for partnering with this universally beloved feature, which is bound to portray their brand in a positive light!

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Mary Worth, 6/21/21

Wait, Santa Roymart? Isn’t that where Tommy and Brandy work? Does Shauna know Tommy? Do Shauna and Tommy go to 12-step meetings together? Does Tommy found himself drawn to Shauna do their shared experiences on the tough road to recovery? Will Shauna finally be able to find a man who she’ll successfully be able to steal away from his woman? Remember, the only thing Santa Roymart is better known for than low, low prices and giving a chance to those who are committed to overcoming their addictions is hilariously public romantic drama amongst the staff.

Shoe, 6/21/21

“And then eat it! We’re birds, remember — small lizards are one of the main things we eat!”

Sam and Silo, 6/21/21

I don’t really talk about Sam and Silo that much, so you probably have a number of questions about it, like “What’s it’s deal, exactly? Is it any good? Which one is Sam and which one is Silo? Is the extremely dated vibe it puts out because it’s actually in reruns, or is this still being produced today and yet it’s somehow still like this? Are the characters all terribly depressed?” Well, today you’re getting answers to two of those questions.

Dustin, 6/21/21

Here’s a fun story for you: When I first moved to LA, I really thought that the restaurants here all kept their lights aggressively dim to set a mood because I kept having to pull out my phone flashlight in order to read the menus, and this went on for literally years before I figured out that actually I had just hit the stage in my life where I needed reading glasses. Anyway, my point is that I’ve finally found a character in Dustin I can identify with.