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Six Chix, 10/3/11

The comics do not have the best record of seamlessly integrating breast cancer awareness messages into their usual laff routines, so I suppose we ought to give Six Chix credit for making a halfway decent mammogram-themed gag, as well as for semi-accurately depicting one of the games from the Mario Brothers franchise. I was going to say that this freakishly proportioned doctor, with his oversized skull and bug eyes, looks like a classic movie mad scientist, which could explain his unorthodox medical equipment; but, honestly, his patient doesn’t look much like a standard-issue representative of H. sapiens either. Perhaps these two are all too aware of various forms of cancer, living as they do in a high-radiation zone full of mutants like themselves.

Baldo, 10/3/11

Oh, but SNAP, it looks like breast cancer awareness just got stone cold outrun (or outskated?) by diabetes awareness! Are there people rollerblading to cure breast cancer? I don’t think so! Boy, breast cancer awareness just looks like a pile of garbage now, doesn’t it.

Slylock Fox, 10/3/11

Once a habitat has been invaded by an outside species, can it ever truly be restored to its original state? Is the blunt instrument of government policy capable of managing something as delicate as an ecosystem, or do attempts to do so do more harm then good? Since species replacement is part of the natural cycle of life, is it even realistic to try to preserve a region’s biosystem in some arbitrary static state? Are these questions far too difficult for most adults to answer, let alone children? Oh, they are? Uh, well, then, just, I don’t know, count the snakes or something, I guess.

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Slylock Fox, 9/19/11

Good lord, what has that fiend Count Weirdly done now? He’s hypnotized these innocent rodeo dudes and forced them to dance about for his entertainment! And the only way Slylock can free them is to unscramble the magic word, which is … money? Huh. I’m thinking that Weirdly didn’t “hypnotize” the cow-poking gentlemen so much as pay them for their dancing services. You know, rodeoing doesn’t pay the bills like it used to, and if a cowboy has to make a little money on the side by showing off his square-dancing skills for a private customer, well, there’s no shame in that. Why are you trying to get in the middle of this wholly innocent and consensual private transaction, Slylock?

Judge Parker and Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/19/11

Say, what’s up in the Woody Wilson-penned soap strips? Well, it looks like Sam and Abbey will be buying a monstrously oversized three-bedroom behemoth that probably isn’t legal to drive on any road in the United States, and Sam, who certainly doesn’t have the specialized certification needed to operate it, is preparing his trademark negotiating technique that will take full advantage of this rapidly bankrupting motor home dealership’s dire financial straits. Meanwhile, the Morgan family is coming to grips with the fact that they also own an indulgent and impractical vehicle that none of them know how to steer. The fact that Sarah’s egregious act of ass-kissing in the face of all reality results in her immediate promotion goes to show that loyalty is more valued than competence within the Morgan clan, which should result in some nautical good times for all of us as the S.S. Rex sinks in some spectacular and hilarious fashion mere minutes after it hits the open seas.

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It’s another comment of the week, and an early one at that! I know I usually keep my ad plugs for the end, but there’s one I wanted to draw your attention to up top: your eyes do not deceive you, there is a Slylock Fox Spot The Differences Game for the iPhone and iPad! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!

Ahem. And now, your comment of the week:

“That’s definitely not Dudley Do-Right we see in Mark Trail. It’s his religious cousin, Dudley Deuteronomy.” –Mibbitmaker

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I’m hoping Batuik is setting us up for a Funkiverse Time Shift Revelation: ‘So if your father was Smokey Williams, you must know all about the Crankshaft Massacres! The fireball that engulfed his family … The Garden Club decapitations … And the final horrific school bus crash into the Icy Cuyahoga River … Your father could have stopped it all, but he just made it worse! Why? Why? WHY?'” –Lorne

“It looks like I’m engaged to a jock! Which explains why, as a nerd, I just got my glasses broken. What, you didn’t think I could find a way to whine about even the most positive moments of my life? LES MOORE, MOTHERFUCKERS. RESPECT.” –Windier E. Megatons

“It’s too bad Les never met Lu Ann. He could wax pseudo-philosophical on his front porch swing to his heart’s content, and she’d just be content to sit at his side thinking ‘Wow, a porch swing, how very quaint in a bland, suburban way!’ They would be completely absorbed in their own tiny little worlds, and thus completely happy together.” –TheDiva

“‘Oh, please, Jughaid — not another apple!!’ ‘Nope!! I brung you an apple, Miz Prunelly!!’ ‘O … kay.'” –Chyron HR

“So McQueen is operating on the assumption that people are going to drive to wherever-in-the-hell valley to look at transient waterfowl that may or may not have biblical bands around their legs after reading an as-yet-to-be-written article in a wildlife magazine? I think the mercury-based hair dye he uses may be seeping in through the skin (note: Don’t forget the eyebrows next time!).” –geekwhisperer

“I could stay here forever, Paul. And in fact, I’ll have to, because at the rate I’m apparently aging between panels one and three I’ll be dead in a matter of seconds! Just bury me where I fall.” –Windier E. Megatons

“Even more bizarre than the ideas that tourism is bad for the valley or that tourists will be attracted to Bible-geese is the idea that people actually read and are inspired by the articles Mark or Kelly churn out in their poorly-managed dead-tree publication filled with content by people who can’t string together a natural sounding sentence in conversation, much less on paper.” –Alex Blaze

“Well, Princess, it seems my bizarrely complex and ill-conceived plan to spread the Good Word through golden Bible verses attached to a tiny population of migratory water-fowl has drawn the attention of two viciously self-centered nature writers whose readership of insane shut-ins must surely number in the low dozens. Deliver these micro-engraved platinum acorns to our most powerful ally that she may know our darkest fears have come to pass. Hurry! To the Queen of the Ants!” –firedmyass

“With all my heart, I hope this will finally be the adventure where it’s revealed that a steady stream of men with interesting facial hair are concocting fake conspiracies in an effort to help their friend Mark avoid the women in his life.” –Jocelyn Knockersbury

“Hey Sergeant MacQueen, can your message be delivered in the form of randomly-placed dog urine? If so, you’ve made the right choice.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“‘Now that you mention it, what AM I doing here? I could be home, watching TV!’ It’s sort of ironic that Peter works for a newspaper, actually.” –Carly

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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