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Spider-Man, 11/7/14

The current Spider-Man plot is wrapping up with a delicious slab of exposition, and for me the hero of the hour is the cop in panel three, rubbing his head and looking immensely self-satisfied for no discernable reason. “So do we lock ’im up — or give ’im a medal? Eh? Eh? Moral ambiguity?”

Funky Winkerbean, 11/7/14

The Scapegoat football team is in the championship game! And Head Coach Bull Bushka is … offering a bribe to the ref? He appears to be offering a bribe to the ref.

Mark Trail, 11/7/14

OH MY GOD CHERRY HAS CLEAVAGE AND A NAVEL AND MARK HAS NIPPLES AND MUSCULAR FOREARMS WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE

Say, wasn’t … wasn’t Rusty going to go on this adventure at some point? stay belowdecks, Rusty, hide your eyes, you mustn’t see

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Heathcliff, 10/27/14

After a nightmarish curse left the town’s inhabitants irrevocably transformed, the damned souls are taking hesitant steps towards recognizing one another and reclaiming some part of their lost humanity.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/27/14

Just another day in the teachers’ lounge, laughing it up about the endless parade of genetic defectives that make up Westview’s children!

Crankshaft, 10/27/14

Although 10 years earlier kids in the nearby town of Centerville went on a violent, terrifying rampage when Crankshaft’s family ran out of candy, so maybe Les and his cronies are right to view the local youth with mingled contempt and disgust.

Spider-Man, 10/27/14

Despite his best efforts, Spider-Man will in fact be rescued from his primary antagonist by his secondary antagonist.

Apartment 3-G, 10/27/14

NO MARGO YOU JUST STARTED TALKING OUT LOUD THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SAID YOU’RE SAYING YOU WANT TO DO

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Blondie, 10/16/14

Amphetamine variants, across a socioeconomic scale running from meth to Adderall, are often used as productivity drugs: they focus the mind and, in the short term, make it easier for you to do work, especially work you don’t particularly want to do. By rejecting his friend’s offer of a little illicit worktime pick-me-up, Dag emphasizes his commitment to decadent leisure: as with food, his interest in drugs is entirely sensual, not utilitarian.

Spider-Man, 10/16/14

Last week Doc Ock skittered off from his penthouse lair to go enjoy the work of his earthquake machine … somewhere … else? “Somewhere else” turned out to be just straight-up chilling on his couch, presumably in a different lair, while his tentacles dangle forlornly, waiting for the artificial earthquake that never comes. Is he supposed to be watching TV? I bet he’s supposed to be watching TV. Everyone in this strip is always watching TV, all the time, and if there isn’t one there when you need it, it’ll just sort of appear, conveniently.

Marvin, 10/16/14

It’s pretty impressive that, in a strip whose punchline is that Marvin’s family is in such constant terror of his poops that everyone keeps careful track of his digestive velocity, the most unsettling part is actually his smug little smile in panel three. “That’s right, my bowel movements are so vile my own grandfather refuses to deal with them! Heh heh.”

Dennis the Menace, 10/16/14

The Mitchells have done the math and figured out that they can afford to meet their legal obligations as parents without interacting emotionally with their son at all! Look at them, smiling to themselves and not even making eye contact with him. Someone just found out what true menacing really is.

Archie, 10/16/14

Based on the sad, reverent way Jughead has doffed his cap, I’m going to assume that Archie died in the ring.