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Dustin, 5/9/25

It’s a little weird writing a blog about the relatively small world of the syndicated newspaper comics, because I know for sure that many of comics creators read my little posts but it’s not always clear which ones do, so when a strip makes a change that could be interpreted as being in response to my criticism my first reaction is to become slightly drunk with power. Like for instance, I’ve complained for years that the Dustin strips about the dating life of its Millennial Zoomer characters all take place in fern bars and don’t involve dating apps at all; today’s strip, I’d like to imagine, is the result of the Dustin team finally saying “FINE, we’ll do a dating strip that involves the apps, that’ll shut him up. The kids don’t put their pictures on dating apps, do they? That would be insane.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/25

So it turns out that Kelly did not break up with Niki before starting to date a tall boy she met at college, and once she figured out her mother was no longer in mortal danger she went over to the garage where Niki works to break the news to him, and his reaction was pretty chill, all things considered. Today we learn why: seems like he’s got a new gal himself, with a kerchief! Is “Big Sandy” one of Glenwood’s wholly disproportionate number of retro musical acts? Are these two young people dabbling in the exciting rockabilly lifestyle? Is god-damned Buck involved, somehow? Reload joshreads dot com non-stop for further developments!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/9/25

Jesus Christ, what is this lady standing on? Is it her face? Is it more feet? None of the potential answers are good!

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Mary Worth, 5/8/25

Say what you will about Mary, but she is the master of manners, and one of the keys to having good manners is that if you can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all. When taken to its extreme, this can create a sort of negative semantic space that becomes obvious enough to be insulting in its own right. Like, what is Belle to Wilbur, exactly? Are they friends? Hard to say. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Mary isn’t privy but seems unlikely. Lovers? A lady never enquires about bedroom matters. So Mary’s settled on “guest,” which is inarguably true. Belle certainly is someone who is staying in Wilbur’s apartment with his consent, that’s for sure! Whatever else you say about her, and there’s a long list of things that you could say about her but Mary won’t, she definitely fits the dictionary definition of a “guest,” so that’s what she’s going with. Anyway, Dawn, I think dinner is going to be plenty long, because I don’t think you’ll be able to chew your way through that gray slab of vegan lasagna particularly quickly.

Wizard of Id, 5/8/25

The sociologist Max Weber talks about “disenchantment” (entzauberung, in German) as the process by which a medieval society founded on religion and magical thinking gave way to enlightened, rational modernity. That’s why it’s disappointing to see the Wizard of Id, who lives in a literally magical faux-medieval past, treat his body as a mere mechanical contrivance that could be repaired by a skilled tradesman, rather than a vessel of luminous spirit.

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Heathcliff, 5/7/25

The thing about Heathcliff is that he should be dominant in any situation in which he finds himself, either having established himself as being on top of the hierarchy or doing something that ignores other people’s dominant positions and makes them nervous. Garfield is usually dominant in his strip but sometimes this is reversed for comical effect, but I don’t think that works with Heathcliff. Heathcliff should not be “in deep” with his bookie and currying favor with him by laughing too hard at his jokes! He should be at the top of an attack parabola, ready to descend claws extended onto the face of the starting pitcher of whatever team he’s just bet against.

The Lockhorns, 5/7/25

I really respect that Leroy has absorbed just enough Harry Potter knowledge to know that witches send letters with owls but doesn’t really know or care that many witches and wizards are good guys, they aren’t the kind of comical evil crone-witches he associates with Loretta’s mother, etc. I also respect The Lockhorns for getting the U.S. Postal Service’s logo correct on this letter carrier’s bag, which is more than Blondie, a strip with a recurring mailman character, can say.

Dick Tracy, 5/7/25

The mostly empty tumbler of brown liquor on the desk in the final panel is a nice touch. “Ahh, I shan’t leave this evidence behind!” he thinks, smugly and drunkly, right before whatever electrified net contraption Sam has talked the MCU’s favorite judge into letting them use descends upon him.