Post Content

Mark Trail, 10/10/17

Say what you will about Mark Trail’s methods, but he will never, ever stop laying down the nature facts. It doesn’t matter how desperate the situation is, who’s sticking a gun in his face, whatever. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, probably a third of the soliloquies we get in the Sunday strips happen while he’s under extreme duress of one kind or another. If someone has a misapprehension about tornados or whatever, Mark will nip that false line of reasoning in the bud. If “A tornado is the vortex of wind, not the condensation cloud!” is the last sentence to pass his lips before he takes a bullet to the gut, it will have been an honorable death.

Hi and Lois, 10/10/17

I actually kind of love that, having seen this little one-bedroom bungalow with a pool, a fireplace, a deck for grilling, and satellite TV, our bachelor has flipped out his collar, ’70s-style. His emotional world was shattered and he was living in a depressing rented hovel but now thanks to Lois’s real-estate savvy he’s back, baby! These are the days when the job is really worthwhile to her, when she makes a difference in someone’s life. The difference is he’s gonna be having a lot more sex, and she’s earned that commission.

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 10/9/17

Fall is here, everybody, and you know what that means: comics doing jokes about leaves changing color for the fall, and those jokes being totally ignored by the syndicate colorists, who just dump a green fill into the leaves as usual, making the strip completely incoherent! Today’s Hi and Lois is even worse in that clearly somebody realized that at least some of the leaves needed to be orange, and so colored the ones falling but left the ones still on the branches a uniform green. Because leaves stay a bright green color until they’re ready to fall off a tree and then immediately turn orange when they detach, right? This reaffirms my belief that the coloring staff all work in some tropical nation with extremely low labor costs and no deciduous trees, or maybe in dank underground prison.

Crankshaft, 10/9/17

Crankshaft has basically the same problem here, except that it has that extra “Crankshaft twist,” i.e., the strip’s title character literally raging against God for His manifest failures.

Sally Forth, 10/9/17

Sally Forth at least got the memo: each leaf should be its own individual color! Unfortunately, it seems they’re working on the assumption that each leaf should be a unique color, which means the colorists quickly ran out of earth tones and had to move onto pastels. Seriously, look at those pink and blue leaves Ted is kneeling amongst. Are those … leaf-shaped marshmallows?

Funky Winkerbean, 10/9/17

In non-leaf news, we can tell that, after a decade, Les is finally moving on from his dead wife Lisa because he’s dumped the labor of organizing her memorial walk onto the local Rotary Club. Sorry, Rotary Club, dead Lisa’s ghost is going to haunt you now! I don’t make the rules!

Mary Worth, 10/9/17

You know where it’s not fall? Beautiful, tropical Colombia, where Wilbur’s hot new Colombian girlfriend is going to introduce him to the wonders of salsa! She’s already introduced him to the wonders of having a girlfriend who wears skin-tight leopard-print pants.

Post Content

The Phantom, 10/8/17

Oh, hey, look, it’s a new Sunday Phantom storyline, after I failed to update you on the old one! And hey, I also forgot to mention that Jeff Wiegel took over the art on the Sunday Phantoms from Terry Beatty a few months back! I really like the details on this strip, but I’m afraid that Wiegel got so enthusiastic in panel three that he’s undermining the story a little bit: that tray features some nice-looking rigatoni in red sauce, healthy-looking yellow corn, and mashed potatoes swimming in gravy! If that’s “prison slop,” sign me up! I promise not to rat out anybody!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/8/17

Oh, you can’t understand the mindset of someone who would do that? Take a look, lady:

CHECK OUT THIS STONE COLD BADASS

THIS SHAVED-HEADED GOATEED LAURENCE-FISHBURNE-SUNGLASSES-FROM-THE-MATRIX-WEARING MOFO

HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR “RULES” OR “LAWS” OR “OPINONS”

HE’S JUST GONNA FORGE SOME COMICS ART, GET SOME CASH, AND GET OUT

Blondie, 10/8/17

If you’ve ever wondered about the evolutionary sequence of the Bumstead lineage, what with Dagwood and Alexander sharing many of the same unusual features, today’s strip offers some crucial insight: Alexander is almost exactly like Dagwood, except he likes to fuck.