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Dennis the Menace, 2/8/14

Implying that Almighty God might not be all-knowing and all-powerful, that there might be limits to His ability to hear prayers from His mortal creations, that He is somehow constrained by the passage of time as perceived by us puny beings, that He must occasionally rest? Menacingly heretical! It is perhaps ironic that Dennis is courting divine wrath only if he’s wrong.

Pluggers, 2/8/14

This is … a joke about the metric system, I guess? Pluggers are glad that we don’t use metric time? Pluggers are relieved that the most radical phase of the French Revolution burned itself out before the icy tide of Jacobin rationality could wash away all of our long-standing traditional institutions, like the division of time into sixtieths that dates back to ancient Babylon? Sure, why the hell not! Let’s hear it for sexagesimal chronometry!

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Hey all! Are you ready? For your comment of the week? I hope so!

“After the wild success of Garbage Ape, the team at Heathcliff is seeing what other wacky new characters they can spawn. Personally, I don’t find ‘Philosopher Yarn’ very exciting, but I’m creating a tumblr for him right now just in case he blows up.” –pugfuggly

And your hilarious runners up! Still prepared, emotionally, for the hilarity?

“The second to last panel of Hi and Lois features Hagar the Horrible hanging out with that babbling kid from Fat Albert, which is something I’m pretty surprised to realize I have been waiting for my entire life.” –Tophat

“Hey, kids, let’s all learn about frostbite by watching your comic strip hero Mark Trail freeze to death.” –Liam

“It looks like Tommie’s feeding that baby deer with a bottle of vodka. Seems more like a Margo move.” –Yahtzee

“When did Rick Santorum take over the lead in Mark Trail and why is he so passionate about turtles? (Pro tip: do not Google ‘Rick Santorum turtles’.)” –Ed Dravecky

“I actually laughed at this, but only because I imagine that Les is the kind of teacher who smirks sarcastically (possibly with condescending puns) when his students are stressed about deadlines, and I hate him.” –GTM

“Anyone else feel cheated because we’ll never see Philip Seymour Hoffman play Thirsty in Hi and Lois: The Movie?” –nescio

“So … Hi and Thirsty are at Andy Capp’s wake?” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Jim!! I’ll be right down!’ yelled Tommie into the wrong end of the telephone. ‘Gosh,’ she thought to herself, ‘I sure hope I get to see Jim soon. Preferably before my eyes, which have slowly been drifting closer to each other over the course of the phone call, completely collide!'” –Cassandra Cat’s Lawyer

“Does anyone else find it odd that Slylock Fox on Comics Kingdom is listed in the Family genre, but NOT in the Animals genre? Has the rise of the animals already started?” –Hogenmogen

“In other news, I think Blondie farted.” –Nekrotzar

“The Bumsteads’ marriage is on thin ice. I mean that quite literally. Just check out their kitchen floor.” –Joe Blevins

“I did wonder, for a minute anyway, whether Looweezy (sp?) was listening to Ringo or Joe Cocker. Wouldn’t the despair of the Joe Cocker version suit her better, as she sits by her threadbare, badly-patched curtains, knitting next year’s Christmas tree in blue yarn because the Hootin’ Holler store only sells one color at a time, probably contemplating her next meal of cabbage soup or something similar? All while her man goes off to blow the last few coppers in her cookie jar on a game he’s going to lose despite trying to cheat, because his ace fell out of the hole in his sleeve on the way out the door.” –sally

“Heathcliff is too weird to live and too rare to die.” –Martha

“I knew this day would come; the twins have finally lost their minds. Ditto is pretending to be a morse code snake and Dot thinks she’s in Oz. Hi, fetch the chloroform.” –Dr. Dread

“Apparently, you’re also a plugger if your truck drives six inches above the ground in a featureless Limbo. The old dog smiles wryly, for his granddaughter doesn’t yet understand that there is no need for texting when there is no one else in this world.’ –Guts Dozier

“Hey Ditto, your father’s name is Hiram. Go nuts.” –Rusty

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And, just as an advertising program note, I’ve started using BuySellAds as a platform for you to buy ads directly on my site on a CPM basis. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Pluggers, 2/7/14

Writing a blog post about the daily comics pretty much every day for more than nine years has honestly given me quite a bit of sympathy for cartoonists who have to come up with a fresh variation on their basic gags daily, so I’m willing to forgive the bizarrely convoluted caption to this cartoon (would you be a non-plugger if you said “no” but then your granddaughter didn’t follow-up with this question? why does your granddaughter get to determine your plugger status?). I’m not willing to let the extremely and unjustifiably smug expression on the plugger-grandpa’s face slide, though. What exactly is going through that man-dog’s noggin? “Heh heh, look at this little girl, her life on earth so brief to this point that she doesn’t really understand the concepts of social and technological change over time. Why, all of existence is just one continuous present moment to her! It takes years of experience as a plugger to understand that life is a slow transformation of the world and your place in it, until one day you wake up and the things young people take for granted are baffling and scary, and everything makes you angry and confused. She’ll learn some day! Oh, she’ll learn!”

Six Chix, 2/7/14

It’s hard to tell because it’s so crudely drawn, but I’m thinking that bear is looking a little miffed. “You know, I have lots of opinions on ways we and our clients can work together to add value to both companies’ offerings. But, yeah, sure, just call me in when you need someone mauled. HEY, I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE, I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT ME.”

Hi and Lois, 2/7/14

Hey, Ditto, at least your sister has a normal name she can use! At least she isn’t named after a primitive means of reproducing printed material that went out of vogue in the 1980s! You’re playing with fire here, Ditto.