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It’s Friday! It’s the comment of the week! Let’s enjoy!

“Holy flashback. Is that the first and only time Sam’s lost money?” –Dood

And the runners up! Very funny!

“At today’s Big-Bass Fishing Tournament, spectators were horrified when angler Rod Bassy produced an unidentifiable creature during the end-of-day weigh-in. According to witnesses, the creature was wearing clothes and was about the size of a 10-year-old boy, but it was clearly not human in form. ‘It was terrible,’ said fishing fan Jeffrey Watcher. ‘Those bulging eyes and that misshapen face. I can’t get it out of my mind.’ Tournament authorities are currently debating whether to allow Bassy to claim the creature as a fish.” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“Convinced that Mary Worth is a soup opera strip, Toby tries to get the plot back on track.” –Uncle Lumpy

“I only enjoy things I can eat, ride, or read! See, I just read this dog’s body language; he wanted a Ritz! And he’ll still be good for two other things!” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Cathy knew Evan wasn’t clean, and was covering for him.’ Um, isn’t that what publicists are supposed to do?” –giraffe-o

“We’ll have to interrupt this discussion of wealth accumulation — it’s time to give the dog Communion.” –Pozzo

“I have a feeling that this will be both the worst and most under promoted James Bond movie ever.” –Marc

“Proves how stupid I am. I thought the ‘punchline’ in Pluggers today would be something like ‘Pluggers haven’t watched television since 1978.'” –Gary

“Rusty would never go somewhere without tweeting about it … Oh here it is … @Rusty1987 became the mayor of Rod Bassy’s van on 4square.” –revenge4Aldo

“I’m intrigued by Kingpin’s vast cravat. Does he even try to tie a knot in that thing, or does he just tuck a tablecloth into his shirt collar and hold it in place with a big diamond? Or is that just his shirt? Or … dear god … Is that his skin?!” –lorne

“I really want to see a chalkboard with a long scientific equation that solves to a picture of Daredevil and Spider-Man with Xs where their eyes should be.” –Daniel

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Spider-Man, 3/8/13

Haha, panel one’s Depressed Scientist Guy With Mustache is my new all-time favorite ancillary Newspaper Spider-Man character! “Man, I thought getting off the publish-or-perish treadmill of academia would be better for my working conditions and mental health, but this is terrible. Doesn’t this oaf know you can’t hurry science? And what about my bonus? I was promised bonuses for private sector work!” Meanwhile, one of Kingpin’s lackeys is already ghostwriting Faster! Work Faster!: Leadership Strategies From America’s Most Innovative Supervillain, which will become a #1 best seller at airport bookstores nationwide.

Beetle Bailey, 3/8/13

The Halftracks don’t just live forever locked in an awful, passive-aggressive struggle with each other that neither can win or even enjoy! They also live in their own filth.

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Archie, 3/7/13

Here’s a sentence that’s probably never been written: I don’t understand Archie’s emotional arc here? Veronica’s dialogue in panel one is stereotypical “Ha ha the ladies like to gossip about their network of relationships with other ladies and we hate that amiright fellas” talk. But what are Archie’s sweatballs in panel one supposed to represent? Is he already nervous about being cruelly snubbed by Ronnie for daring to ask for some quiet study time? That would seem to undercut the vague surprise of the punchline, then. Is it sexual arousal, always a good bet with Archie? Is he saying that the reality of Veronica’s conversation is interfering with his ability to think sexy thoughts about her? Those word-balloon icicles are perhaps well deserved.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/7/13

So, mild historical accuracy: It’s true, that, in their colonization of Greenland in the 10th through 15th centuries, the Norse came in contact with the Inuit! Inuit names tend to be polysyllabic, though, and not, you know, incoherent grunts, but sure, let’s have Hagar talking to “Oog.” And let’s give Oog slits for eyes too! Why not!

Heathcliff, 3/7/13

Unironic praise: Nearly everything about this is perfect, from the fish-costume’s terrifying eyes and weird fin-feet that would be very difficult to stand up in, to Heathcliff just standing there with his hands behind his back, dreaming of ripping open the great fish and feasting on its hundreds of pounds of succulent flesh, to the bored dude with the hair in his eyes inside the costume, who isn’t being paid enough to deal with any of it.

The Lockhorns, 3/7/13

“But I’ve finally managed to poison mine! Now help me move his body to the car so we can go dump him in the river.”