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Mary Worth, 9/16/12

The “Dawn gets dumped and mopes and goes to Italy and is in a shipwreck but is rescued” storyline sure has had a lot of twists and turns and so far, but now we are truly seeing the 100% amazing payoff: Dawn is comparing an admittedly traumatic incident from which she emerged completely unscathed physically with a traumatic incident in which a young man whom she just met lost an arm. Her adventures over the past few weeks sure have provided her with some much-needed perspective about her troubles! Nevertheless, we already know that this will somehow work as a pickup technique, since an epigram from Anaïs Nin surely portends incipient sexytimes.

Mark Trail, 9/16/12

Mark, for a so-called naturalist, you have some funny ideas about our relationship with phylum Arthopoda! Nature is a rich, vibrant tapestry, and the idea that humans and spiders are allies in some kind of “war” against insects is simplistic and reductive. No, clearly both spiders and insects are mankind’s implacable enemies, seeing as they are gross disgusting creepy-crawlies; but their mutual hostility is a boon to us, and we must pit each against each other in order to keep both groups weak. A spider-insect alliance, particularly one with support from their centipede and millipede relatives, would surely overwhelm us, so must surreptitiously encourage intra-arthropod hostility at all costs.

Hi and Lois, 9/16/12

The most disturbing thing about Trixie’s school fantasy is that she apparently assumes that by the time she’s of school age there will be two of her. This may be the way her infant mind processes the existence of her twin siblings — perhaps she believes that Dot and Ditto were born as a single person but then split into two before the age of five. On the other hand, Trixie also seems to believe that she’ll be reading Tolstoy in kindergarten, which shows a certain degree of intellectual precocity.

Panels from Slylock Fox, 9/16/12

I love how upset the two construction workers at the bottom left of today’s Six Differences look. “Noooo, what are you doing? Your blundering, amateurish excavation techniques are ruining the integrity of the dig site! This is a priceless paleontological find, but we’re losing so much data as you drag the fossils out of the ground willy-nilly!”

Luann, 9/16/12

Mr. Fogarty would gladly give up the burdens of sentience if doing so meant that he’d never have to deal with any of the morons in this strip ever again.

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Apartment 3-G, 9/15/12

FUN FACT! Did you know that the “Optimists Club” isn’t just a sarcastic thing that Margo calls her roommates because their minds aren’t constantly clouded by intrusive thoughts about murder and carnage? It’s a real fraternal service organization that my grandfather belonged to for years. Also, apparently it was maybe an offshoot of an early 20th century New Age cult? Anyway, long story short, Lu Ann and Tommie can just hang around the apartment in their sweatshirts from the Classic ’70s Kitchen Appliance Colors Collection, but Margo has places to be, people to belittle, etc.

Gasoline Alley, 9/15/12

Despite my longstanding hatred of Slim, I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for his wife Clovia. Still, if Clovia needs to fall for a painfully obvious text-scam in order for Slim to be humiliated further, I’m willing to accept that.

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Your COTW in a moment, but first, I need to draw your attention to one of the ads in the sidebar. You perhaps have already noticed the ad for the science fiction romance epic series Flight of the Armada, by Jay Michael Jones. But did you know that Jay Michael Jones was also long-time (like, from the very beginning!) Comics Curmudgeon commenter True Fable? This Kickstarter project aims to cover printing costs and cover art for the first 6 books in the series True Fable’s been working on for a long time. Loaded with unique incentives, the Kickstarter pledge drive ends October 7!

And now, your comment of the week!

“I’d like to note that it’s not explicitly stated that it’s God that Dennis is praying to.” –Doctor Handsome

And your runners up, very funny!

“In fairness to Reeky, being a rat is as punk rock as it gets.” –lorne

“We don’t have any choice! We can do this thing, or we can do this other thing!” –AndyL

“I do compliment the depiction of the salesperson. Those crazy-ass, unfocused eyes staring at a point in the distance several feet above Crock’s head. Yes, it is the perfect expression of someone who is dispensing free video games in plain brown wrappers on top of a cardboard box in the middle of the desert. Yeah, and he’s wearing a baseball hat backwards, just for kicks.” –Hogenmogen

“Sammy Slade? Is that the best that the Alliterative Name Generator XL4000 can come up with? Time to trade up to the new 5000.” –Midtown

“Speed dial? Is this 1997? It is? Okay.” –The Ghost of Jarrod

“Meanwhile, Dawn is silently dying inside as she realizes that she has no idea how to open the milk carton.” –Pozzo

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