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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/6/12

Everyone’s face in the second panel is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a scene in which three desperately poor people are about to eat a canned bean dinner in a dilapidated shack in an isolated rural hamlet. Where do you suppose Snuffy is? Jail, again? Do you think they’re sadder that one of their family members can’t be there, or happier because he’s a useless criminal and his absence means more beans for them?

Archie, 10/6/12

Notice that by the time Archie blows that whistle in the first panel, Moose is just standing around looking sheepish. Despite Archie’s ostensible attempts to impose some sanity on this “friendly” game of touch football, he knows better than to interrupt Moose when he’s in the midst of whatever violent whole-body fugue state resulted in the terrible injuries revealed in panel three.

Pluggers, 10/6/12

Speaking of looking sheepish, normally I find the faces of the various man-animal abominations who inhabit Pluggers to be fairly inexpressive, but both father and cub here are wearing pretty piercing looks of shame — poo-based shame.

Herb and Jamaal, 10/6/12

Are rising energy prices starting to degrade vital government services? Or is Jamaal just letting some guy’s house burn down, for fun?

Gil Thorp, 10/6/12

If you’ve ever wondered what it would like to perch on the belt of a guy who is really, really psyched about the terrible micksploitation slogan he’s come up with for a high school football team, and is also wearing a waistcoat for some reason, then today’s Gil Thorp is for you, my friend.

Beetle Bailey, 10/6/12

How is it that whoever wrote this cartoon doesn’t cry themselves to sleep every night, just like Mrs. Halftrack? This is probably the saddest thing I’ve seen in the comics in months, and I read Funky Winkerbean daily.

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OK, fine, summer ended weeks ago, but it is balmy in Baltimore! While I enjoy the 80 degree October weather, you enjoy your comment of the week:

Luann: “This comic is best enjoyed with the subtle implications, like Toni’s life being so miserable that she’s talking to a high schooler about her long distance pen pal. ‘So uh … was it a Dingo stamp? Don’t you hang up, I need this! If I get off the phone, Brad will try to sleep with me.'” –S. Stout

And the runners up! Very funny!

“I know! I saw it on Facebook! I monitor your family’s every move online. I’m going to live unnoticed in a crawlspace in your home. I’m going to smell your hair while you’re sleeping.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Les’ look of surprise just screams, ‘You mean that’s been an option all along?! Let’s shoot each other!'” –HAnzMFG

Phantom: “Maybe the lioness just doesn’t see the point of all this any more? Eat sleep kill. Eat sleep kill. And someday, die. I’d think that a man who’s the 20th person in a row to spend his entire adult life enacting and reenacting his 496-years-dead ancestor’s violence-fueled psychodrama would understand how that feels.” –Raspy Cricket

“‘You’re blushing’ — do the cyborg work-slaves who draw and color this strip know what ‘blushing’ is? That it gives light-skinned human faces a noticeably reddish hue? Would this have been an overly difficult visual effect to produce, especially considering it was specifically mentioned by a character as a plot point? Do they know that human sport jackets don’t change color instantly, unlike the skin of the reptilian super-commandos who guard their secret prison? Could someone at least show them a picture of human lower appendages? No?” –geekwhisperer

“I am beginning to think ‘Jim’ from Mary Worth and ‘Steve’ from Gil Thorp are the same person: some remorseless con-man who is bent on milking his missing limb for all the unpaid coaching gigs and frumpy, self-absorbed teenage tail it’s worth.” –TheSilentG

“This man has a diploma. He also believes that Ziggy deserves pain. I trust this guy!” –Izzy

“[Apartment 3-G’s Evan] doesn’t realize that he’s in a door-slamming bedroom farce without bedrooms.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Look, it’s a plugger PDA! And a plugger iPhone! And a plugger’s version of whatever kind of high-tech table those really hip people must use! She’s breathing plugger air, an impoverished and less oxygenated mix that is somehow more honest and virtuous than whatever goddamn ozone those fucking hipsters breathe in Capitol City!” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

“And by way off Broadway, I mean they’re held in a zeppelin moored over Brooklyn.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“It’s not a very funny Shoe, but the last panel is funny when taken out of context.” –parcheesi

“It’s not a thingy, the proper term is ‘penis.’ And that’s not water, it’s blood.” –cheech wizard

“I like how Ed Asner and the dog share a moment, wondering how this became their lives.” –sporknpork

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Mark Trail, 10/5/12

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Mark Trail, in which a heavily armed Cherry resolved the whole Rusty-napping situation without Mark ever needing to show up! Given the level of real danger that was involved with Rusty being kidnapped by criminals and threatened with death, I’m a bit puzzled as to what “exaggeration” she thinks Rusty will resort to in recounting the story to Mark. “Mark, I saw these men killing sheep from a plane, and then they kidnapped me, and they were going to turn me into a sheep and then shoot me from a plane, so they taught me sheep language, but I summoned all the other sheep, who ate the men! Plus there were aliens!”

Family Circus, 10/5/12

The Billy (age 7) Family Circuses are usually mostly interesting to me because of the layers of family-narrative artifice involved (Jeff Keane continuing his father’s tradition of pretending to draw as his brother), but today’s family psychodrama is much more straightforward: remember, if you don’t like your mother, your kids will notice.

Spider-Man, 10/5/12

Looks like all’s well that’s ended will in Spider-Man! And now you get to contemplate whether you’d rather make sex to a snake or a spider, yuck.

Shoe, 10/5/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Shoe is emotionally dead, unable to feel either joy or pain!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/12

Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, the thingy came off and there’s water everywhere and June is pissed.