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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Blondie, 2/14/23

One strip you could write off, but two? That’s a trend. Folks, if you didn’t get your beloved a slab of heart-shaped meat for Valentine’s Day this year, you need to think about what you did wrong and get ahead of the game in planning a meat-tastic 2/14/24. (Note: please only use a cut of meat shaped like a cartoon heart, not an actual animal or human heart, as that would be disgusting.)

Gil Thorp, 2/14/23

Speaking of romance, we last saw the Thorps holding onto their marriage for dear life despite obstacles like Mimi’s flirtatious golf coach. This Valentine’s Day, they’re going to revive their relationship the only way they know how: by trying to have sex as airliners come screaming in for a landing directly above them every four to nine minutes.

Beetle Bailey, 2/14/23

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny that Otto doesn’t want to smell Beetle’s socks, but I do want to point that there are generally only two circumstances where we have dogs try to figure out where people are, and those are “on the run from the law” and “probably dead.”

Mary Worth, 2/14/23

“I’m shopping! Just like you! Yep, exchanging money for goods and services sure is the name of the game, here in America!”

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Slylock Fox, 2/13/23

This deceitful dog may be the one who’s putting the scam into action, but I don’t think he’s the mastermind behind it. Look at that dull, defeated face: that’s not the look of “Curses, my master plan, foiled!” so much as “Well, here I am, taking the fall once again because I thought I could make some easy money doing low-level crimes that I was assured I would not be prosecuted for.” And what exactly is the scam here? Is it “first we release the spiders into your house, then you pay us to kill the spiders?” It probably would’ve been better for Sly to have held off on arresting the guy until after part two, in my opinion.

Blondie, 2/13/23

I love the implication here that Claudia, despite sitting just inches away from these guys, has missed the entire context for this conversation, possibly because they started talking and then she retreated to her mind palace to escape the blather. And who can blame her!

Dustin, 2/13/23

Look, Ed, your wife is trying to muster up some enthusiasm for your twice-monthly hand job, can you just shut the fuck up for two minutes

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/12/23

You guys know I dearly miss the days when Sarah was a weird precocious adult-child, back before before she got hit by a car and it reset her brain back to normalcy. I don’t know if we’re every going to see a return to form on this, but I feel like her walking in and angrily saying the first paragraph of the “Valentine’s Day” Wikipedia article at her brothers is a good start.

Hi and Lois, 2/12/23

Today’s throwaway panel really changes the whole tone of the strip, in my opinion. Sure, Lois and the kid are having some good clean fun in the kitchen, but what of Hi? He thought today was going to be for bonding with his family while watching the big game, but instead he’s all by himself while they deliberately ignore him.

Daddy Daze, 2/12/23

We all, of course, have been worrying about the Daddy Daze daddy’s mental and emotional health for some time, but I think today is the first day that we learn that, in a probably related development, he’s not doing great financially either.